Struggling with mismatched intimacy needs
Im (33 M), a basic gym-goer who does moderate strength training. My wife (30 F) and I have been together three years. In that time I’ve never come before she orgasms — I’m not sure if that’s why she sometimes seems distant and doesn’t want sex all the time. She values emotional connection more than physical intimacy. We’ve discussed this many times and she says the same thing. How many men would want their partner to finish before them? I thought she didn’t understand how uncommon that is.
I want to have sex every day, but I get discouraged because my wife wants it maybe once a week, twice if I’m lucky. If we have sex three days in a row she’ll shut it down for a week. When she’s around I have constant sexual thoughts and feelings, even during normal cuddling. If sex can’t happen, I can’t sleep after cuddling, so I usually sleep on the opposite side of the bed. Not a day goes by without me touching her breasts or butt; she gets annoyed when I caress her breasts every day, although I never pressure her when she says no. This is frustrating because my sexual life isn’t the way I want it. What should I do?