u/Flagging_enthusiasm

I just want to read some literature with queer joy for gay men in them.

I recently realised I can't think of any work of literary fiction where gay men just get to end up together and be happy.

Of course, there are a zillion gay romance novels out there these days (Red, White and Royal Blue, the Game Changers series, etc.), but I don't enjoy romance novels as a genre. I just want to read beautiful literary fiction that doesn't end in tragedy for the gays.

Some amazing works of literary fiction with queer male romantic plots I've read in recent years include In the Distance by Hernan Diaz, The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida by Shehan Karunatilaka, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong, The Bee Sting by Paul Murray and Regeneration by Pat Barker. I loved each of these books, but they all ended badly for the gay men. I'd love recommendations similar to these, but where the gay men get to have happy endings please!

Edit to say: I just realised that I read Maurice when I was a teenager, and that may be the only work of literary fiction I've read where the gay men get to be together in the end! How could I forget it? It's the only one I can think of.

I have been conflicted about changing my name. I kind of like my birth name, even though it's very femme and I want a masculine name. I've been going by my new name for a while now, and I like it when people I don't know very well use it for me, but somehow with my family, it makes me feel alienated and sad. Like a fraud. I love my family and they've been super supportive of my transition, so they'll call me whatever I want, but I just can't get used to them using my new name.

The other night, my mother and I were joking around about what would be the dumbest possible name for a person to have, and we came up with Gary-Boolean Haberdashery. (You had to be there, okay?)

As a bit, I changed my name in the family group chat to that name, and my whole family has started calling me Gary-Boolean. We are masters of keeping up a private joke for years. Honestly, we just always take every joke too far. But I'm loving it. Having this silly nickname which is technically a man's name (although ridiculous) makes me feel so loved and seen by my family.

Anyway, maybe someday I'll be comfortable with my new name, but until then, we have Gary-Boolean.

Hi guys. I am 46ftm and I am just about to re-start testosterone after a 2-year break. When I was on T before, I got *more* dysphoric about my chest as I started growing chest hair on my breasts. I hate my boobs so much sometimes that I fantasise about cutting them off.

I have very, very large H-cup breasts. No matter what I do, I cannot fully hide them. I have used trans tape and several different types of binders. No matter what I do, they are still very THERE and there is absolutely no way I could ever pass until I get top surgery. I don't know when, if ever, I'll be able to afford top surgery.

I live in Australia, and it would probably cost me $10-15K to pay for top surgery. I am also AuDHD and have struggled my whole life to hold down a job. After getting really burned out at my last job a couple years ago, I haven't worked because I basically feel unemployable. So, saving that much money seems impossible to me.

I've decided that this time, I'll just be in stealth mode when taking T until (if ever possible) I can get top surgery. I'll still present femme and mostly introduce myself with my birth name. I'll shave my beard and just lean into being a deep-voiced, masculine "woman". I think this actually makes me less dysphoric. Honestly, I kind of like presenting femme anyway. Even though I want a masculine body, I want to dress femme and wear makeup. It took me a long time to realise that.

Anyway, I'm just feeling really depressed right now because I'm afraid I'll never be happy with my body, never be able to live the life I want and just feel trapped in this cage forever. It also just seems so hard to separate this sense of shame about my body from my sense of hopelessness about my financial situation and my neurodiversity and basic feelings of just being completely useless. So, there's a lot going on. Yes, I am in therapy with a trans-affirming psychologist who is awesome. But working through all this is really hard.

I guess I just want some words of encouragement.