Anyone else doing badly in all areas of life
And not have any hope or belief in themself?
It feels really lonely. I'm at the bottom, in terms of mood. The pain is relentless. I use whatever I can to cope, self harm, weed, alcohol, I gave up trying to make good choices for my body.
At the bottom financially, every bill is behind, creditors calling me, didn't pay my rent this month, phone always getting shut off.
I have no motivation to make it better, because there's nothing I want. I don't believe good can happen for me. I don't want anything. I don't want a family, I don't want friends, I don't want to buy anything, I don't have any goals and I don't want any goals. I work very part time, alone, on my own hours, doing that less and less.
Can't get access to whatever would help me. Not looking for that please, every suggestion for the last four years leads me back to the same places that can't help me. I don't get it, no one believes me, they just pass me along to the next who passes me along to the next in an endless cycle.
What does someone do when they don't want anything? What happens next? Is there a way to fix this? Does someone know? Do I just lay in bed until I eventually stop breathing? I'm not even hungry anymore