Married with kids, no intimacy for 12+ years (not even kissing), and I’m starting to realize I may have never been attracted to men at all. Looking for perspective from women who’ve experienced something similar.
I’ve been with my husband since I was a teenager (my first boyfriend), married in my early 20s, and we have kids. I never explored anything outside of that.
Even early on something never fully connected. Looking back, I think I chose safety and stability over attraction because my home life was extremely chaotic. I’ve questioned my sexuality since my 20s, and I can see now my attraction didn’t really align…I’m attracted to women, not just in theory but from experience. I’ve came out to my brother & to my therapist.
I love my husband and care about him deeply, but it isn’t romantic or physical. I also wouldn’t feel upset if he were with someone else, which makes me realize how disconnected that part is. I’ve even suggested it. I think fear (small town, judgment, and wanting stability for our kids) has kept us here.
Has anyone else experienced something like this while married? How did you start sorting through it? I feel like we are stuck.