Guidance
Hello everyone! I got into manifestation like two three years ago. Haven’t been the most consistent but I have been able to manifest minor things from time to time. Be it a call or text here and there. With SPs however I haven’t had the most luck. Have had a pretty shitty life, lots of intense black magic on my family and I, to the point where I quite literally had an evil spirit on me. It’s been removed now tho, we’re doing better but I’ve always kind of felt like we’re cursed. My parents are burnt out, I’m burnt out and nothing just seems like it’s working for us. I would like to add that I had a pretty bad depressive episode a few years ago and since then it’s been a constant I come in and out of this pit and it’s very hard to stay positive when I’m having dissociative episodes.
But going back to SPs, now I would listen to subliminals, script manifest and detach until eventually I didn’t care about them anymore and just didn’t have the energy to want them in my life. Instead I’ve been manifesting for the kind of love that matches my energy to come my way. The love that I’m deserving off and that doesn’t require me to so heavily fixate on getting them to treat me how I want to be treated. I’m not talking to anyone. Don’t have a romantic interest as of now. Yes I’ve spoken to people here and there during this process and yes for a moment I deviated but I’m back here in this feeling now. And just then my feed suddenly filled itself with love readings esp from new tarot readers as well as those I trust, felt drawn to and often aligned with. I keep seeing angel numbers unexpectedly, like it’s not that I’m reaching out for them, but repeated 11:11, 1:11, 2:22, 4:44 and 5:55. I feel like I’m close but I’m also tired. I try and listening to the readings to keep my mind positive and they keep telling me it’s here, someone has their eyes on me and that I’m about to get what I want. I’m still detached, numb almost. It’s this vicious cycle with depression, that keeps eating at me, even if I supposedly feel “fine”. It’s exciting for a second when I’m listening, I do believe, I have faith or rather I have hope otherwise I wouldn’t be listening, yet that feeling, it’s fleeting. So what do you guys make of this. Any guidance? How do I get it to manifest faster? How do I just stop fucking up in life?