This is what I get for calling my wife needy I guess
I’m 40, wife J is 39. We have six kids , twin girls at 13, then 10f, 8m, 6m, and a 2 year old girl. Recently I switched jobs, which has given me better pay, ofc but the hours are really long/inconsistent ,and Im home a lot less than I used to be. My wife handles most of the day stuff with the kids on her own. I’m not unaware of how much that is, as I know being a SAHM is a job in itself
So about a few days ago I got home really late and she was sitting on the couch in the dark silently crying.it was just tears going down her face, she wasn’t sobbing though . She said, she, in her words “really really missed me.” So we talked a little, we ended up having intimacy, I went to sleep thinking we were good.
Next morning she brought it back up, this woman says she felt like I brushed her off because we just had sex instead of actually talking it through.
Mentally I was already into the day ahead and I said I didn’t know what she wanted me to say, that we’re grown adults, and why was she being so needy, the bills are paid and food is in the kids stomach with a roof on their head.. I was so aggressive I guess because I expected an argument, but she Just kind of looked down for a second and said she loved me and wanted to feel close to me and walked out of the room. I went to go give her a kiss but she was laying on the couch just not talking.
I dunno if it’s worth it to mention, but shes also going through peri-menopause? Her hormones have been hard on her, I believe she has told me so, she’s with the kids basically every hour I’m gone.
Since then she just says she’s fine, obviously I’ve nudged her a bit about it as a husband.. I think she thinks I don’t notice but she will still get a little teary when I walk in sometimes but the second she sees me notice she somehow just changes her whole demeanor, she hasn’t really done that before. Soo she just gives me a kiss, asks about my day.. gives me my dinner, the usual. and somehow more uncomfortable than trying to comfort her from crying.
And Our kids have picked up on something too, one of my 13 year old daughters asked me quietly the other day if mom was okay. My 10 year old has been following her around the house like she is trying to cheer her off, and the littles seem off, harder to settle to sleep than normally at night. And my whole house has this weird air or tension or whatever you want to call it, sitting in it, and it really did start with that one conversation.
My mom thinks I was wrong for the needy comment, and I need to handle it differently as a man.
So obviously I feel like I did nothing wrong, she’s a grown woman and should be able to realize we don’t have time together like we did when we were newly weds and could just cuddle or fool around all day.
I’m just fed up with this woman, making our household dysfunctional.. obviously I wanna fix this but It feels like I’m married to a child!! This is an extra write here
Edit: A lot of responses and people aren’t seeing my side but I’ll respond to it all soon, I see people asking if im baiting and all I can respond is that I wish my life was Ragebait, but this is currently my life. I should also add I enjoy gaming in my free time often so that’s a non negotiable for me. (Copied from my other post)
Edit 2: I understand I’ve been argumentative and sure I might look like a piece of shit, but if anyone has some advice I guess I am willing to accept it now.