I reached out and he isn’t responding..
This isnt a breakup but more of a situationship i guess.
it had been over 7 months since Ive last spoken to him. I don’t want to get into detailed context. But we had a lot going on in our personal lives, and miscommunication in the end.
Last night I was texting a guy, btw I had avoided any conversation with a guy or even liking anyone to firstly get over this on and off friendship I had going on with mixed feelings.
Last night I needed someone to speak to, ofc from this guy I was aware he wasn’t looking for a emotional connection, and I knew that but kept texting anyway, I then start to think a lot about “him” then overthinking came, started to second guess myself if I was really ready to speak to another guy. There was nothing this guy reminded me of “him” although, this strong feeling of “betrayal” even when “he“ was no longer in my life, was so loud. I explained it to the guy I was talking to, of course I felt guilty because this guy wanted a wholeeeeeee other ”thing” from me and in that moment I was thinking of someone else (him) and couldn’t handle what was going on, so I left.
And texted “him” mind u I have gone through a lot during my healing journey but didn’t ever had such a strong courage to reach out.
I was shaking, my whole body was overwhelmed by how quick everything happened.
he didn’t respond, I started to think maybe i’m marked as spam? maybe i’m blocked, maybe it’s the wrong number?
now i’m sitting here vulnerable, all day i’ve been feeling nostalgia that same familiar feeling, and exposed really exposed, i reached out during a moment i was very vulnerable in. now I don’t know what to do, i started to second guess myself again but with (praying) i haven’t been asking for anything in my prayers. so i tried but i just can’t when all i can think of is “how can i ask God for help when it comes to someones own free will?” his own decision if he wants to reach out back or not.
Right now, I just need advice or any kind of support..because I have no idea what to do now.
I didn’t reach out to start all over again, but TO FINALLY let out what has been lingering on my chest for months! because what did blocking him without communicating give me? nothing but long term pain... Ive never done reaching out before it was always the other person talking to me first.