being aro? advice?
So I had wrote this years ago but I lost my account, I can't remember if I originally wrote it in this subreddit or a different one but regardless, I still wanted to know if aro people could add their own thoughts into this.
So I am asexual, but I'd been questioning if I'm aro or not for a while. I've kind of softly labeled myself as aro since this incident but I still continue to question whether or not I "deserve" to title myself this way? I had broken up with someone who I had dated for a little over 2 years back in 2022, but I didn't really feel sad about it? Yes it sucks that it happened but I'm not crying or upset about the romantic relationship ending.
They were a very affectionate type of person and I'm not, usually when they would be affectionate towards me like saying pet names or romantic words I would brush it off and jokingly go "haha that's funny". We started off as very close friends and they had confessed to me, but when we started to date I didn't really treat the relationship as anything different than how we were as friends, other than them being more affectionate and proclaiming their love from time to time. And oftentimes that sort of thing was really uncomfy for me and I felt really bad. When I had dated people in the past as well I had this similar kind of feeling. I did love them but it felt like it wasn't in the same "way" as they did towards me if that makes sense.
I always thought that just because we started to date doesn't mean we need to change anything about how we were already treating each other as friends. And when we stopped dating I felt like not much as really changed about how I felt about them, I still "loved" them. The only part I was really bummed about was that I no longer was able to talk to them since they didn't wanna talk to me anymore since we've broken up, understandably. But I was more so sad that they were no longer my friend than no longer my partner, as we had known each other for 6 years.
I'm wondering if how I'm feeling is normal? I've thought before, prior to when I had dated this person, that I was possibly aromantic, but then I ended up dating them so I thought "guess I'm not aro" and labeled under panromantic instead, but after the breakup I started questioning it again.
I don't know if there are any others that have been in this kind of situation, and whether or not this is something that's even within the spectrum of aromanticism. If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it.