How to build a social life from scratch in a city I've lived in for several years?
Long story short, I'm in my late 20s and have lived in a big city for four years and never really developed a social life - mostly due to serious medical issues (that impacted my mobility and mental health) and a relationship that's now since ended.
I'm trying to move past the medical issue saga of my life and would like to start a social life. However, I'm concerned about what people would think about the fact that I don't have a social life already despite having been here four years. To make matters worse, I went to college nearby that feeds many graduates to my city, which feels like even more of a reason that I "should" have friends. In reality, none of my college friends moved here.
I'm a pretty normal guy that just hit a brutal couple of years, so I'm not a weirdo, but some part of me feels defensive about not having a friend group already. It's almost like I'm lacking "social proof" of being a decent person.
As a side note, I'm also trying to date, and it feels similarly awkward to tell dates that I've been here four years and don't have friends that I see regularly.
Would love to hear any thoughts!