My (35m) wife (41f) and I are done. Every boundary, every attempt at reasonability, is met with contention far beyond logic. Im a giver to the point where I knew before my marriage it was a problem. And im finally addressing it. The more i opened up the more I saw her drooling. Frothing at the mouth. However, she thinks im stupid, and that, I am not.
The fear of doing "the wrong thing" outweighs the need for stability and sustainabilty for my son (2) and her son (14). He lost his father last year. Ive been compared to him (being worse than him) and now "he would be out another father figure" just PREYS on STRONG hearts, not weak ones.
Bitterness and disdain is their game, not ours. Although it is our ability to understand the pain and emptiness they may be going through, as spouses it is not our duty to fill that bottomless void, the emptyness, the blackhole. The pit. She may live in it, bathe in the filth because its comfortable. And we may think adhering to their rules will provide them insight, but it will not. Because the very thing we have is what they feed on. Like a venus fly trap that craves protein.
Because you are empathetic, you are not void of power. Starve them from which they feed. Their fuel is your time, your space, and your energy. They do not have gravity, they seek it from those whose voices carry weight. Therfore will power, self respect and courage for CHANGE, will salvage your heart.
I fear not losing material goods, but myself, and the precious time I have with those who value me, for me.