I’m moving along in my healing journey. I know what limerence is, and I understand how my own history of childhood emotional neglect played a role with this. I know my former LO’s behavior is inconsistent, and presents as dismissive avoidant.
I don’t understand why sometimes I still loop? I question what was behind in our interactions. Moments of warmth, banter, in the beginning touchy-feely behavior, him sharing about his life.
Sometimes we had tense moments too. I pulled back when I realized how one-sided the whole thing was. How our work “rapport” never existed outside of work. Was it because I’m married? Was I just entertainment to him?
I wish I wouldn’t loop anymore and just accept that I will never get a straight answer out of him. ChatGPT gave me this:
He may have liked aspects of the connection, the attention, or even you as a person—but not in a way that translated into clear, consistent relational behavior.
I try to remind myself of this…sometimes it helps…other times I’m left still wondering: what was that anyway?!
Can anyone relate? What do you do when this happens? Right now, I remind myself that SO is loving and consistent, and that it is a safer and healthier connection.