Parents can not stop pressuring me into physical presence
I haven't spoken to my mother in 6 months because she went into a drunken rant where she insulted my partner and their family and said horrible things about my partners dying father, even saying that my partners sister needed to stop bothering my partner with the palliative care of their dad and then saying I needed to break up with her.
This started because they she was jealous that I would be spending Christmas with my partner's family and her dying father. (Her father died before xmas unfortunately)
She drinks heavily most days and is always difficult to deal with or becomes confused and falls asleep. Im just sick of the drinking tbh.
I have had sparse contact with my father since this event and he has called me a lot of names and such in these discussions. Even saying "Evil has entered your heart", "your a coward" etc.
He also demanded that me and my partner come around to apologise to my mother for upsetting her literally 3 days after my partners dad died. Then rolled his eyes when I pointed out that it was really disrespectful to have such disregard for my partner's current grief. Its obvious that his number one priority is my mothers emotional regulation.
I have tried to be cordial when my father has reached out to me over text but have refused to have any contact with my mother. I have ignored all messages from her. However every single attempt to contact me from either of them is always centered around how much pain they are in and attempts as pressuring me into going over to their house.
Any cordiality on my part is immediately interpreted as an entrance point for emotional pressure to go over and see them.
They are unable to just ask me how I am and leave it at that. It is just variations of "We are so upset about whats happened. You are causing us so much pain. Come over and fix it.". Essentially i have been assigned the role of the guilty party who can end their suffering if I could just find it in my heart to go over to their house. I have refused to do so as I know going over would just be an opportunity for them to try and guilt me into taking their side against my partner.
I dont know how to navigate this. They are essentially unable to self reflect and unable to refrain from trying to push for physical presence.
Anybody else been through this type of thing?