Im creeped out, how do I deal?
My husband has two daughters with his ex wife 8 (autistic) and 10 who he sees every other weekend Friday through Sunday. We dont have kids and I dont plan to have any even though he seems to be open to more. It's always been a back and forth with the mom of the kids, they had a terrible relationship and are terrible coparents in my limited opinion. When I initially got with him, I was always available to assist with the kids on his weekends (babysitting, crafts and activities) but I've always drawn the line at engaging with the ex because they are toxic.
About 1 year ago I decided to go NACHO because he said I am not his kids parents and I need to stay out of his business which I have absolutely respected and I am grateful to not have to worry about navigating the toxic ex anymore. About 6 months ago he discovered that the oldest was dating someone (mind you, she was 9 at the time). He told the daughter it was inappropriate and she needed to cut it off, the kid got super upset at him for the convo. He decided to take away her phone after seeing the communication with the kid but the mom is encouraging it. The mom casually refers to the bf in her messages (my husband read through their convo) to the daughter like its normal, she has apparently spent the night at his house. My husband seems to have accepted defeat and I can't get over the disgust with both my husband and his ex. His ex told him she would stop sending the kids if he kept pestering about the boyfriend and she has also instructed the daughter to put a passcode and delete messages so her dad won't see them.
What kind of sick stuff is this? Im even more uncomfortable because she now wants to sleep in our second guess room (they currently have their own room with two queen beds). He realized that she now locks the door stating that she needs privacy, when he tried to tell her to put the phone away for the night at 11pm, she threw a tantrum and said she needed the phone in the room with her. I as someone without kids believe I should be reporting all this to CPS. Am I overreacting?
Edit. Based on the initial feedback, its not a CPS issue. This makes me feel better but they are terrible parents and they need to go back to court. I came from divorced parents who were really great coparents, the kid seems to be parenting herself and overly emotional relying on the boyfriend for stability. My husband hasn't seen any inappropriate messages but they seem to spend alot of time together including sleepovers and talking about hugging. I disgusted by the allowing the daughter to be in a situation that could easily become inappropriate and they dont seems to be having healthy conversations with her.
The kids mom won't tell him how old the boyfriend is, also the ex on multiple occasions said the kids can't come to him or won't bring them to the drop-off point of the daughter says she feels anxiety because of her dad's questions.