My Sister wants Me to Put my Transition on Pause for her Wedding?
Last Year My Sister announced she was getting Married again. Despite being around the same age, we were never super close, but we took this time to chat about dresses, her custom gown and getting some family members to ready themselves before it becomes the typical last minute scramble. I wasn't to be part of the actual wedding party, but made sure I could be there for her. Shifting appointments so as to be ready to help out.
Two months out from the wedding she shot me a late night email insisting I dress masculinely for the three day events of the wedding. Claiming she's been struggling over my months of transition. It has not been months, I have been out for 6+ years, have been on HRT for 4, had oodles of hair removal and some surgery.
I pointed some of this out as politely as I could manage and she took another month to respond. Said email addressed none of my points and claimed she is already "compromising" by using my legal name. Her primary concern; is that I would draw too much attention in a dress and proposed I wear something akin to a flowy pantsuit instead. I have anxiety disorders and thus quite like to avoid attention also. This is not helped by the fact that all guests will exclusively wear either suits or dresses. Thus having me garbed differently, will likely draw more attention, not less.
During the weeks that followed both our Mother and Brother attempted to urge I concede, or failing that, meet in person to talk. I attempted the latter, offering several times and even canceling an appointment to conform to her schedule. That was supposed to be today, some disaster(again) came up and she asked me to wait another two weeks to fix another time. By then it will be the month of the Wedding. Reddit, what should I do?