r/TransHelpingTrans

I am 60 and grew up in the 70s and 80s. As a child, I had curly hair, blue eyes, and long eyelashes, often mistaken for a girl, especially by women who praised my appearance and wished they had my hair and eyelashes. At 11, staying at a friend's house, his mom bent down to greet me without a bra under her shirt. I saw her breasts, and I thought I couldn't wait to have breasts too. I was confused growing up due to limited information about being trans. In the 90s, I got married. The internet made it easy to look up information about being trans. My wife found my internet history, and we got divorced.

I am now married to my wonderful wife, and we have an awesome daughter. I have always been attached to women but at the same time wanted to be a woman. I spent years of wanting this feeling to go away. Now, at 60 my egg has cracked. I am a trans woman.

East of Brisbane. Looking for a support network close to home.
Well I did it. Yesterday we actually had a really good day, took her car to get a service, first time she has ever gotten on the back of the motorbike with me, we came home, had a midday nap and then when she woke up she turned around and asked me if I had a female name totally out of the blue…. I told her what it was and she made a bit of a joke about it saying she didn’t think that was a name I would have picked and then the day went on. Then last night we were mid cooking dinner together when she came out with more questions about what I really wanted to do and how far I wanted to go. I tried to ignore the question and she pushed a bit more and I blurted out to her that I wasn’t just a cross dresser that she was hoping I would just be but I in fact want to start HRT, grow my hair out, get a nose ring and maybe down the track who knows I might get bottom surgery. Just so happened our kids who have moved 14hrs away decided they wanted to play online uno for a bit and they had us on a group call. She stayed calm and composed the entire time we were chatting to them and then once that was done came the tears and the hurt and the disappointment. She told me she would try and do everything she could to support me in between the tears but our marriage is over because she had already told me she would never accept me as a woman and she isn’t a lesbian and won’t be married to a woman…. We were meant to go to a couple of concerts with my brother and his wife in the next few months and she said told me to cancel her ticket as she wouldn’t be going. Our trip up north in 3 weeks to see our son along with 2 of the other older kids is now not happening for her, she is going to stay and send one of the other kids instead…. All this while still maintaining she can only imagine how hard this is for me and that she will still always support me but we can’t be together anymore. Anywho she was about to fall asleep on the couch and I I sent her to bed. She said to me that she still loves me and will never abandon me and that we will get through this…. Anyway I slept on the couch and woke 3hrs later to her making coffee and sobbing loudly. I’m not allowed to touch her, hold her or even cuddle her. Anyway she came back out and made me a coffee about 20 minutes later, we spoke very minimal because when I did talk it got turned around….. she even asked me how I could possibly tell her I love her so much but I don’t love her enough to stay a man for her. I know she is hurting…. Damn it tears my heart out to see her in so much pain and agony. She doesn’t know what she is going to do with her life and that’s fair but I guess deep down that we can maybe get through this together after 23 years of marriage and maybe still be together as partners and soul mates and help and support each other….: I don’t know if she can do can forgive me ever. She eventually packed a few backs, loaded the car up and left without saying a word to me and is going to stay at our daughters for a few days leaving me at home with the 17yo son who is in his last year of school. She told me that she doesn’t want to disrupt his final year and we would make it as normal as possible and then she leaves like that. I’m kinda so lost that I don’t know what way to turn. Anyway I ended up going through all my clothes, male and female, through all the cupboards of mine and threw away 3 large garbage bags of clothes and rubbish and memories… a spring clean if you will…. Not many of my male underwear in my bedside table draws but plenty of female underwear now… (I have more clothes, dresses, matching frilly bra and undies than my wife has ever owned, I don’t know how she has never had a go at me…. She really just have been trying to pretend I didn’t dress). I don’t know when I’m going to be pushed out into another bedroom or out of the house but I’m more prepared than I was before she walked out this morning. I didn’t tell her that I had already been to have my bloods done for HRT and that my appointment is tomorrow lunchtime when I would finally start my journey and now feel this is a totally moot point. As she has said several times….. she always had a feeling it was more than just crossdressing and now I have brought it out, there’s no going back….. So I’m definitely going to my appointment tomorrow…. Definitely getting my HRT meds……. Do I start now or should I wait? My heart is telling me to give her time to adjust and hopefully come around but my brain is screaming at me to just start it as I have already rolled the dice and have to deal with the consequences of telling my family, telling the kids, telling friends not that I have any really close friends because my one mate who did know everything about m died 18 months ago of cancer. Oh and I saw just as I was heading off to sleep last night that my wife changed her status on Facebook to Seperated and then on changed another status of hers from when we married 23 years ago to It’s always been complicated….. I feel she is forcing my hand and I’m going to have to come out to everyone a lot sooner than I thought…. I figured I would have about 6 months before any real changes became apparent…… I’m not upset that the cats finally out of the bag with her because she deserves to know the who I really am….. my biggest regret is the pain I have caused her… I do love her very much and always will….. I just can’t do it as a man anymore….. Give me some advice please and sorry for the length of the post….. A little lost at the moment.

FOR ALL PEOPLE WANTING TO TRAIN FOR A MORE MASCULINE CHEST!!

WARNING: this is only 3 exercises, filled with tips for beginners and intermediates alike, anyone can try, but will you do it? Even Cis men lament about the struggles of growing one of the most masculine symbols of musculature, the chest, whether you are a hard gainer or just starting today, please try it with me!
In this workout I will be working towards technical failure and past failure to endure the most time under tension possible, with stress comes adaptation, stimulus produces growth, training this way can break through any plateau when used every once in a while (or whenever you feel like it!) After 11 years of lifting weights, I am always searching for new ways to keep progressing, my goals are to get bigger, feel healthy- and have fun breaking through the crippling days dysphoria sometimes brings our way while doing it!
Hello, I'm a Transgender Personal Trainer (FTM) and love body building, I had Top surgery exactly one year ago in 2025 and gained a bit of weight, but can finally get back to the workouts I missed. Anyone can grow muscle, anyone can train with science and efficiency, you do not need steroids to participate in effective styles of training,
This is a light weight but high rep style of workout, but do not be fooled, using only 3 basic movements used to their full potential, you will be left unable to do a single pushup when it's all said and done (why not watch me fall on my face and prove it?) Or maybe try my workout and do it better than me :)
What is "Training to Failure?", How can you implement Isometric holds in Hypertrophy training? What is a Drop Set or MyroRep? Check in for a demonstration and form breakdown (and memes) of all of these training concepts used together in one workout for growing muscle mass. Whoever said you need to lift heavy to get big? I mean, sure, you could, but why not grow as much as possible?

My job has pretty good benefits through manulife included in that is $10K towards gender affirming care. A few weeks ago I started getting electrolysis and have gotten 3 sessions done and sent the receipt through manulife to get a refund. I called manulife while submitting the claim. I mentioned it was for gender affirming care to make sure I did it properly, and the lady over the phone walked me through what to do. Fast forward to today and I got a email confirmation saying that $0 from each session was paid back.

So I called manulife. The lady explained that electrolysis is considered a cosmetic procedure and benefits do not cover it. I explained to them that it’s not cosmetic I deem it medically necessary as I am transgender and hair on my face effects my mental health quite a bit. Also that I plan on getting bottom surgery soon and it’s necessary to get hair removed prior to the appointment. She sent it through for investigation once again and I should be hearing back on Tuesday.

Is there any steps I should take as far as getting notes from the doctor or information from my electrologist to better support my claim. I’m pretty confused on what gender affirming care coverage would cover besides anything “cosmetic” and why they would even make that a benefit package if I am unable to use it.

Any help or advice would be appreciated as there is no way I can continue to afford this without my benefits.

I am 19 (mtf) I haven’t came out yet to anyone. I don’t necessarily hate my body but I’ve wanted to be a girl and have felt like a girl since I was around 12-13 I have never told anyone before. I grew a beard when I was 16 I hate it but it always made me look masc so no one ever said anything, but it’s gotten to the point where I hate hiding this and acting masc constantly I just want some advice on maybe eventually coming out to my parents and siblings and also maybe how to get started transitioning.
Thanks for your help :)

I am a woman, but how do I allow myself to be a woman? I would love to start HRT (currently doing therapy appointments to start it soon) maybe that will help but for now I often caught myself of a feeling like I am not allowed to feel this way because of my assigned gender at birth and societal expectations. I always had problems feeling valid and thinking that my view is valid which results in me often thinking I am not allowed to feel girly

Can anyone help me and say what helped them?

I have primary custody of my 2 y/o. Her mom is in the picture but for various reasons cannot be counted on for 50/50 support--I've relied on my mother for help. My mother has since disowned me completely for starting medical transition since March and now has zero relationship with me or her granddaughter. She was supposed to be my "safe" parent--my father's side of the family is MAGA af, and I'm terrified of my daughter losing ties to them as well. I get incredible anxiety just thinking about going over there to swim in the pool with my daughter as I develop breast tissue and show other signs of transitioning. I'm worried about being outed to my child's school and her being rejected for the next school year--and I have no childcare backup plan.

If it were just me, I'd get the fuck out of here yesterday. New state, new name, reboot my career. But with my daughter, I feel like I don't have a right to make that decision for myself that deprives her of any kind of relationship with her uncles, grandparents, etc. Financially, I've got negative equity in my house and can't just leave without spending much of my savings just to sell the house. I have a very intense and stressful career, and I've just barely gotten to the point of stability after separation with my child's mother where I can keep the plates spinning with my business and take care of my child/spend lots of quality time with her regularly.

As much as I want to keep transitioning, I feel like I need to pause. My GAHT doc says he encounters this all the time and I need to consider finding a chosen family--he's worried about me sliding into depression and regret if I pause transitioning. My ex-girlfriend who is an amazing friend and ally as well as a single parent who gets it also sees how happy transitioning has made me and thinks I'm giving up a lot by stopping my medical transition. They assure me I'm not selfish and that I was doing the right thing for myself and my child. But my child's mother and my family will call me selfish, that I'm ruining my daughter's life, etc., and I just can't handle those accusations even though I know they're unfair and inaccurate. Because of the circumstances of recently moving back to this area and being busy 24/7 with work and parenting, I really have no friends or other kind of support network here. I don't know a single other trans person in this area.

I don't think I've ever been more conflicted about anything in my life. When I think about stopping HRT and I look at my body or at myself in the mirror, I feel grief thinking about losing my soft skin, losing softer hair or experiencing more androgenic hair loss, my face looking harder or sterner, growing more or thicker body and facial hair, getting thicker/tougher skin, feeling the kinds of rage I use to feel before transitioning, and losing access to my emotions and ability to cry which I've enjoyed so much and which I feel make me a more caring and empathetic person and parent. I think of how I still like to wear women's clothing and want to grow my hair out, continue with laser, yet I'm not going to experience the full potential of transitioning--I'm going to lose the progress I made and reverse it. But I also feel relief at things like being able to take my child to a pool party without worrying about breast development, not losing family members, not being the victim of harassment of discrimination, getting normal sexual function again, and not having the justify my gender or existence to anyone anymore--most of all, not feeling the incredible dread of waiting for my loved ones to completely abandon and antagonize me simply for being trans. On balance, I feel like I could medically detransition but still continue with laser, private expression, and live content as a trans non-binary person while maintaining my persona on the surface level professionally and with family, at least for the time being.

I know no one can answer this for me, but I am interested in collecting others' experiences who have been in similar situations. Did you pause transitioning and regret it, or was it the right move at that time? Did you continue with transitioning before you had a plan for dealing with family, career, and children, and wished that you waited? Any guidance is greatly appreciated.

Thank in advance,

B

I (MTF19) came out to my gf (a cis woman) like a year ago and she was super accepting and said she would be there with me no matter what as long as she’s still attracted to me. she’s bi so i’m hoping she’ll still be attracted to me on hrt but her being so accepting kind of scared me honestly and i kinda backtracked and said idk yet (if im trans) and basically im looking for ways to express myself femininely to her and basically not scare her yk. I don’t want to just start wearing a full beat and be like so how do u like this I’m just looking for ways i can be more feminine while still also being closeted to the rest of the world i guess. Because i haven’t had a chance to experiment with my femininity in the proximity of anyone else i just want to ease into it and not scare her or myself. im just looking for small things that could acclimate her to me presenting more and more feminine

So I had a little bit of time away from work due to my mental health. Things started to get better but then dysphoria has kicked back in after being, i guess, dormant for about 9 months. I wasn't really making any progress into how I felt, like making a choice as to if this is who I am or not. And there isn't a problem I have that isn't made so much worse if I don't have a job..

The feeling is pretty damn strong, but I don't want to fully come out at work in case it does go away. Not only would it be awkward for everyone involved, but I know at least one person in the office is right wing. I don't know if he's transphobic, but I'd rather not take that chance if I don't have to.

So my question is about boymoding, which (and correct me if I'm wrong) is kinda the thing we do in this situation? I guess I'm asking about the mindset involved. If this is my genuine truth I don't want to lose that because it's easier to just keep pretending and be miserable.

My current living situation is at home in a space I don't really feel comfortable exploring myself, but I may be moving in with some very open-minded friends soon where I will be FULLY exploring how I feel. But is that all there is to it?

Sorry if that's vague or if i'm using any terminology incorrectly. There's a whole lot happening in my head and this was a bit of a brain dump. x

After many decades of suppression, my egg finally cracked last week. I have never been out in public presenting as a woman. I have tried cross-dressing before but have always felt dissatisfied and mad at myself for doing it or even thinking about it.

Last week after accepting my trans womanhood, I am looking forward to being out in public presenting as a woman. But right now I suck at even getting close to appearing as anything close to being a woman.

Actually, my hair has an extra bounce and my curls are enhanced. I think that is the high humidity but I could be paying more attention to my hair. Removing body hair is challenging. Every time I think that I got all the hair off I look in the mirror and find a large patch behind my thighs or on my arms. My beautiful wife is trying to help but right now I suck!

Last Year My Sister announced she was getting Married again. Despite being around the same age, we were never super close, but we took this time to chat about dresses, her custom gown and getting some family members to ready themselves before it becomes the typical last minute scramble. I wasn't to be part of the actual wedding party, but made sure I could be there for her. Shifting appointments so as to be ready to help out.

Two months out from the wedding she shot me a late night email insisting I dress masculinely for the three day events of the wedding. Claiming she's been struggling over my months of transition. It has not been months, I have been out for 6+ years, have been on HRT for 4, had oodles of hair removal and some surgery.

I pointed some of this out as politely as I could manage and she took another month to respond. Said email addressed none of my points and claimed she is already "compromising" by using my legal name. Her primary concern; is that I would draw too much attention in a dress and proposed I wear something akin to a flowy pantsuit instead. I have anxiety disorders and thus quite like to avoid attention also. This is not helped by the fact that all guests will exclusively wear either suits or dresses. Thus having me garbed differently, will likely draw more attention, not less.

During the weeks that followed both our Mother and Brother attempted to urge I concede, or failing that, meet in person to talk. I attempted the latter, offering several times and even canceling an appointment to conform to her schedule. That was supposed to be today, some disaster(again) came up and she asked me to wait another two weeks to fix another time. By then it will be the month of the Wedding. Reddit, what should I do?

So the way I accidentally found what trans people were when I was a serial gooner but now I'm mad because I'm trying to separate the idea that it's a fetish from who I really am. I do belive I'm a trans woman and will be going to therapy to kinda bounce it off an unbiased person but I haven't yet and all I'm trying to do is separate the idea that it's a fetish and its really a struggle is this normal?

Hi friends! My partner of 2.5 years is finally getting top surgery next month. After several years of trials and tribulations, we are both very excited yet nervous.

I want to show up for them as best as possible by making them meals for post op, bring comfort and being financially prepared (we live together). Their love language is definitely acts of service. I’m coming here to see what your friends, family or loved ones did to help that stood out a lot for you during your post op period.

I was thinking of putting a “menu” together of what they want to eat after surgery, but I’m not sure what to start with. Any foods I should avoid? Any advice would be so helpful! If this question isn’t allowed, please let me know.

I'm 19 mtf

It's been like a year since I knew I was trans and I've achieved absolutely nothing to ally viate my dysphoria

I grow my hair out but I don't know how to take care of it and I'm too scared to ask for feminine haircuts so I just grow it out till it looks like a homeless guys hair and my parents force me to cut it and I never know what I want so I just end up with short hair again

I got estrogen through diy but struggled to get the equipment needed to inject it then got the estrogen stolen from me probably by my parents so I never actually got to inject it and idk how I'm gonna get estrogen again

I want to book laser hair removal but I'm too scared of going in their when I just look like a cis guy

I'm mentally ill and spend theajority of the day in my room honestly the only thing I've managed to achieve is being able to shave consistently and efficiency so I don't have to worry about body and facial hair as much but I feel useless and that I'm never gonna be able to transition and that I don't deserve to cause I can't put the sake effort everyone else does

We need more people that are active and are willing to answer questions on the sub! We need active moderators. I am only willing to consider people that are active on this or other similar subs! Moderating experience is not necessary but hugely welcome.