u/Foreign-Village7483

I know this platform or whatever this is, is for teens and i know I shouldn’t be here.

But I can’t sit here while I’m holding my son’s phone and reading the filth that is being sent to him now. It has barely been 3 fucking days since my son passed away and this is what is happening.

I didn’t know this account. I had an idea, but I didn’t know fully. I didn’t know any of you. I didn’t know my son had this whole world here that he called friends when I used to ask him who he was talking to.

I’m going through everything and I can’t stop crying. I’m seeing him joke, talk, try to make friends, try to belong somewhere. All of you here were good to him. You talked to him like he mattered. You joked with him. You didn’t make him feel alone.

I didn’t even know.I keep thinking about how happy he looked recently. I did not understand it at the time.

Now I am sitting here reading all of this and it is hitting me that maybe this place, these conversations, you people gave him something I did not even realize he needed that badly. That thought is destroying me.

Because he tried so hard. You kids have no idea how much it fucks me up as a father knowing my son needed just this to be happy. A bunch of strangers online. That’s it.

I can see it now. Every post, every reply, he was trying to hold on, trying to be okay, trying to just be a kid for once. After everything life already did to him, he was still trying.

He looked so happy. I did not know why. I wish I knew. But then I open his DMs now after everything and I feel sick. Some of you are sending disgusting, vile messages. Not just to him but about him and about us. What the fuck is wrong with you? Have some fucking shame. He is not here and this is what you choose to do?

You fucking bastards. He was just a kid. He is dead. What the fuck did he ever do to any of you ?

I am sitting here already broken going through my son’s phone just trying to feel close to him in some way that i can and I have to read that filth too. Do you have any idea what that does to a parent or are you really that fucking empty?

Leave him alone. Stop messaging and stop saying that shit. There is something seriously wrong with you if this is how you act. Is this how you were raised?

I cannot even describe what it feels like to scroll through his posts, see him laughing with you, see him being happy and then switch over to messages like that. It does not make any sense to me.

I did not know my son was like this. I did not know he had this side, this life, this need to reach out. I am sitting here trying to understand him through a screen because I did not understand enough when he was here and I wish I did

I keep going back to his last night. He was so happy and so close to his mother and me. As if he did not want to let go of anything. I would get up just to maybe get water and he would hold my sleeve, saying sit with me. That was the last thing I remember before I said goodnight to him, folded his prayer mat and turned off his lights. I shouldn't have. I should have held him more. I keep replaying it in my head and I do not know what to do with it.

I am here wondering if this place, these people, was part of that happiness.

If you were kind to him, may Allah reward you. Thank you for that. I can’t thank you enough but i hope you kids understand

And if you are one of those fuckers who are sending that disgusting shit, just stop and get a life.

Dunno why but tonight feels kinda weird.

I keep getting this urge to pray again and again 😭 like I already prayed and then I’m just sitting there like “I should go again” for no reason. I've prayed so many nawafil, I hv lost count. Random duas. Not even stressed, it's js happening

Also I’ve been so clingy today it’s actually embarrassing 🥀

I was literally following Mama around the house for no reason. She’d go to the kitchen, I was there. She’d sit, Id lay my head in her lap.

Same with Baba 😭 he was just sitting and I went and sat super close like I’m 5 or something. He's not a physical affection type of guy but still he hugged me and we talked alot.

They kept asking me if I’m okay and I’m like “yeah yeah I’m fine” but I didn’t wanna move away either. Idk why.

I think I just like being near them. Today especially for some reason

Everything feels really calm tonight. Too calm almost. My brain isn’t loud like usual.

And I got a bit emotional earlier for no reason. Like I was just sitting with my parents and was thinking abt how I got them and how they chose me and stuff… almost cried but I played it off 😭

God really gave me more than I ever thought I’d have. More than I deserve honestly. Alhamdulillah.

Also random but I was scrolling thru my posts...and you guys are actually the best. Feels like I got older brothers and sisters fr. Makes things feel less lonely even tho I’m not even alone. You've been there for me at my lowest and even now. Means a lot to me. Ppl say online friends don't matter but here, I feel different. Appreciate each and every one of u guys 🥹

Idk why I’m writing all this. Just felt like saying it somewhere.

I’m gonna go pray again and then sleep cuz I have to lead fajr tomorrow 😁😇

Goodnight guys. Take care. Sleep well 🤍

i js finshed my physics exam and was thinking about how these exams are so easy, it’s actually throwing me off

I’m doing 10 IGCSEs and 1 A level right now and the mocks feel suspiciously simple. like everyone made it sound like hell, but theyre not that bad

boards got cancelled here, so we’re doing mocks for now and actual exams in october, so maybe they’re just going easy on us?? idk but it feels off

genuinely feels like something isn’t adding up 😭

Sub is getting rlly inactive these days so thought I'd share some stories daily. But there's too many so yall can choose 😁

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So tday was the last day of the wedding and yknow the thing where u say bye and send the bride with her husband?

Yeah that was happening. And I was there with my cousins and I noticed this one aunty who was being way too dramatic 🥀 and guess what? That was my phupho (same one who started a fight a few days ago).

Normally, I'd ignore that but then I remembered how she was talking with someone about the bride. Insane drama. I was sitting nearby and idts they knew I can understand them 😭😭😭

I lost it then and there. I tried so hard but looking at her and her theatrics? That was the last straw lol

My cousins were like “stop stop stop” and I was there shaking trying not to laugh. And then I look at them and it got worse cuz why are you guys looking funny too 😭

Eventually, I calmed down. Was sitting with baba and all his siblings were there too and she js had to say it..she said bari achi larki hay and started complimenting her

Insane switch up

My dad made it worse..he said "hass lo… bas awaaz na aye" 😭🥀

yeah… i think it’s time.

i’ve been acting normal but honestly i’ve been thinking about this for a bit now. things have just been piling up irl and i can’t keep pretending everything’s calm when it’s not. school’s getting serious, responsibilities are hitting different, and i’ve been getting lectured nonstop about “time management” and “focus on your future” 😭

and yeah… i’ve also been trying to fix myself more. be more disciplined, less distracted, use my time better. i don’t wanna look back and feel like i wasted too much time, yk?

but seriously i didn’t expect this place to actually mean something to me. i came here just to ''learn culture'' and check this sub out and somehow ended up caring about people here. y’all made me laugh on days i really needed it and that’s something i won’t forget.

if i ever annoyed you, bullied you or anythin… yeah that was on purpose 💀 but also love you guys (all of u)

i’m really gonna miss the chaos, the random convos, everything.

this isn’t easy but yeah… i think it’s the right time for me to step away.

take care of yourselves, stay safe, make dua for me 🤍

>!I’M NOT LEAVING 😭😈 the only thing i’m leaving is the room rn before the biriyani gets cold. wedding biriyani hits different 😇!<

‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Ās (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said to me: "O ‘Abdullāh, do not be like so-and-so. He used to offer Qiyām al-Layl and then abandoned it."  

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) warned ‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) against abandoning Qiyām al-Layl, as someone else had done, without naming him so as to protect his privacy.

A Muslim should be careful not to go to extremes and overburden himself with acts of worship. Whoever does so will be overwhelmed by the religion, given its numerous acts of piety and worship, and will eventually stop because of his inability to continue.

Showing mercy to His slaves and making things easy for them, Allah, the Almighty, ordained certain acts of worship to be done at certain times. If a person adopts the approach of moderation, he will easily manage to fulfill all the rights upon him, including these of his Lord, his family, and his companions.

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: "The actions dearer to Allah are those which are done regularly, even if they are little."