My first few times with women?Absolute train wreck…
I was bi-curious for a long time and had small experiences with women like kissing but never fully intimate. (I also wanna get outta the way that I have a bf whose been understanding and caring throughout my experiences we have talked about my sexuality and he’s comfortable with me experimenting) My first time with a women was when I was 21 and with my bsf at the time. We each had a big bottle of wine and it was supposed to be just a sleepover but after finishing the wine I was feeling frisky. Soo I asked my friend if they wanted to kiss! As we were making out I asked if she would be ok with a little more. She agreed and we got intimate. It wasn’t bad just too dark and awkward at moments cause that was her first time with a woman too. She would be rlly quiet and stiff at times.. like a wood plank. I tried communicating with her on what I could do to make her more comfortable but I think she just was a rlly nervous cause the next morning was kinda awkward. I checked up on her and made sure she was ok. She kept telling me she was and that she had a good time. A week later while hanging out she tells me she would do it again if I wanted to. Not only that but she straight up has a crush on me and has for over a year... I was flattered but couldn’t say the same for her. I explained that and she understood but I feel like never fully got over it. We remained friends for awhile till we lost contact but after that I never initiated anything with her again.
My second attempt wasn’t any better..
My “bsf” at the time had one of those bubbly flirty personalities. Especially when it came to pretty women, so when we became friends it kinda weirded me out but I always tried to play it off as flattery. Im not gonna lie and say I didn’t find her attractive tho..so sometimes I liked to play flirt back. (I should also mention this was a time where I drank a lot and she drank daily) as we became closer friends the more we would hangout and drink. One night while waiting for another friend to show up we ended up drinking half a bottle of vodka. So one thing led to another, we started to makeout and take things to her bedroom. The other friend shows up and I don’t know if she caught us or heard us cause next thing I remember is “bsf” asking me if I started my period … I run to the shower cause there is blood running down everywhere on my legs! They both follow me in the bathroom and give me towels then leave.
I’m too drunk to know why I’m bleeding all Ik is I’m extremely embarrassed cause not only am I bleeding all over the floor, I’m too dizzy to stand, I was left alone, and I basically flashed my friend. After showering I leave without saying much to either friends. Next day…along with the major hangover, it turns out I didn’t start my period. I was cut. Pretty sure she cut me open with her fingernails. It hurt so bad.. days go by and next time we hangout she acts like nothin happened. She starts to be distant and less flirtatious jokes, so when I confront her about everything she basically says she’s sorry we were both so drunk and that she rlly likes me but respects that I have a man. (Which she does too) I had to explain to her my man’s stance on my sexuality, but that wasn’t what bothered me. It was the fact that she didn’t even attempt to apologize or check up on me after making me bleed then afterwards act like nothing happened for weeks.
Thanks for taking the time to read all of that if u did. I just wanted to vent and get it out of my system,
I feel like growing up I’ve always heard women know how to please a women better than a man and I still believe it.. just didn’t expect my first few times to be so unhinged lol.