In your experience, how much do Indian men actually “care for their parents” (as compared to their wives)?
Hi. I’m American (30F) and about to get engaged to an Indian man. We live in the US, but I’ve been reading about Indian cultural norms surrounding marriage and family, and I have some questions about this idea that sons “care for their parents.” I have just never heard of a culture relying on men to care for anyone. Essentially, I do not believe that Indian men care for their parents (I think their wives do), and I am requesting confirmation if true.
If my assumption is correct, then I am incredibly mad for you all. Because if so, then women are discriminated against because the labor they provide is desirable. Parents benefit from women’s labor, so they value the children who can provide it to them. Logically, that should mean prioritizing female children. However, that dynamic shifts when men are given the power to direct how their wives use their labor. As a result, the providers of labor are disfavored as compared to sons- who will eventually dictate the labor of someone else’s daughter.
The likely counter argument would be that men “care for their parents” by financially supporting their family. However, no man whose wife works should be making that argument. Also, taking care of children and a home is a full time job. If he’s ever had an issue with his job giving him more work for the same pay or not giving him credit for said work, then he should understand why him adding a couple extra people to your workload and taking credit for it is unfair. It could also obviously be way worse than unfair if the parents are mean.
I am still trying to learn more, so please let me know if I’m wrong about anything or if you have anything to add. Honestly, I hope I’m wrong since no one should be expected to give their labor to thankless people. However, if I’m right, then men shouldn’t get to take credit for their wives’ effort anymore. Thanks for your input!