I'm useless
I feel useless. I don't feel worth anything good. I have digestive issues and my doctor wants me to get a colonoscopy. I can't do it.. I feel like I set up an appointment to get raped. My trauma makes it so hard to deal with any of this. I feel like I disappointed my partner because I couldn't go through with it. I feel like they're constantly mad at me because i'm sad about the abuse i went through. I feel like I've exhausted them with my own mental anguish. I don't feel worth anything. I feel like I might as well drown in my own sadness. I want to scream, cry and run all at the same time. I'm not even sure posting this is worth it, I don't feel like i'm worth a thought.
I want to add. I do have a therapist.. all they said was to reframe my mind about the whole thing. I don't know how to do that. If i knew I would have already. I don't want to feel this way.