u/Forever-human-632

In the beginning, I used to feel energised and peaceful but, I didn't used to do it more than a couple of minutes cuz, I thought I would be fine.

More recently, I have been trying to take of myself better, including increasing the duration of my vagus nerve exercise. It helped me a few times when my body was in excessive fight or flight mode but, also made me really sleepy and tired. I couldn't force myself to keep engaging in a task or situation that didn't help me, cuz my body wanted me to rest.

Maybe it's a good thing for my nervous system but, is it normal to feel really tired after doing it? Does it get better with time? What are your experiences?

I am having a hard time feeling "normal" after discovering about enmeshment. A couple of years back, I started living away from my family and things got kind of better. I didn't have any primary source of support besides my crazy family, so I started reaching out to other people.

I tried to 'fit in' with people my age and it was hard at first to do so cuz, I never got the real opportunity to develop social skills or have any kind of social intelligence as I was always sheltered in a rigid, weird kind of relationship with the world, which I learned from my family and assumed that THIS is how the world works.

I learned so many things about social dynamics which made the world seem rather flexible and way less stressful than my family. But, what are the odds that my family wasn't entirely wrong? I mean they learnt this kind of dysfunctional dynamic from the world itself. They never cared about anyone's boundaries because no one taught them how to care about theirs and now since I'm being pushed into this world...why does it seem like everyone, even the seemingly sweet and easy going ones, depend on some level of enmeshment to feel like they belong and fit in, in this world.

No one ever seems to be a secure, confident 'individual'. Everyone needs to follow some sort of unspoken social rules, that fix YOUR place in the social pyramid, decide YOUR future choices should be and decide how much of respect or admiration should you get based on what kind of person society tells you are. And yeah, these rules can be very reasonable sometimes but they are actually so fking superficial and wishy-washy like....we don't ever know what we are here for....we only know what's right what is wrong based on what everyone else finds to be appropriate and GOD IS THAT EVEN THEIR CHOICE?? I'm sure a lot of people don't know what their choice is even cuz, it's so fking difficult ' to see' yourself after escaping an enmeshed relationship and I'm afraid that even after I escaped my family, I might be talking into similar social dynamics unknowingly.

Even talking to people is so hard cuz, we don't feel secure being honest anymore. It's like two people know that they're keeping some kind of secret from each other and are too insecure to even let it out cuz, "What will the society think?"

Sorry if my post seems like I'm jumping into conclusion ls but, please correct me if you need.