u/ForgottenX-2024

He sent money to his sixth romance scammer in twelve months.

I have done everything. Been really nice. Been firm. Bailed him out. Took him on tours of awesome senior communities he could afford. Called social workers. Had Area Agency on Aging out to his house. Called the banks. Called APS. Called the police. Got the FBI to talk to him. Sent him podcasts, videos, articles. Found the real photos of the people the scammers were using. Been really nice. Been more assertive. Blocked websites. Put controls on his phone. Helped him put his accounts in order. Helped him pay his bills. Got POA. Got the contractor out to look at the house. Cleaned the house. Moved the shit out of storage he couldn’t afford. Got him the doctors assessments and the neurologist evaluation. He has “early dementia” but doctors won’t sign the incompetency letter.

And what have I gotten in return? Insults, abuse, wishes that I had never been born, total self absorption and a two hour speech on how this was all justified because he needs to masturbate to relieve his prostate, and how he manages.

Does he have frontotemporal dementia? Probably. But the law gives me no tools to help someone who refuses to be helped, and I cannot keep throwing away my life and health for a 78-yo man with the emotional maturity of a toddler who is convinced that beautiful women decades younger are throwing themselves at him and will be the only answer to all his problems.

The laws need to catch up. I did my best but I am out.

Romance scam #6

He’s going to send money to ANOTHER FUCKING SCAMMER and I can’t stop him despite a year of hell and finally having a POA.

Yes, I know I need guardianship. But I’ve already been doing this FOR A YEAR. And I have to get a doctor to sign off. She didn’t want to do it when I first asked. Try POA first, not far enough along, who knows. And now we can’t see the neurologist again until July. And then it would be 3-4 months after that to get guardianship.

If he even agrees to go back to the neuro at all.

I am so, so tired. I want to just cut him loose. He would certainly rather not have me around. I’m the obstacle to his eternal happiness with the endless procession of non-existent beautiful young women promising to marry him and demanding money.

But he is already poor. The roof is leaking. What happens when he loses everything except the house and can’t pay the bills? If that happens on my POA watch, did I fail? Am I responsible?

He has “early dementia” but refuses to believe it. Claims I orchestrated the diagnosis and tricked the doctor into it.

I am exhausted. I would be content to never see him again but there is so much work to DO—fix the roof, file the years of back taxes, sell the crap, settle the dead wife’s estate, get the house in a trust—and with him kicking and screaming and trying to throw away money to criminals every step of the way.