Just a rant from an aspiring upasaka
Jai Maa Bhadrakali. Jai Sri Krishna. This is just a rant,I dont have anyone to talk about this,I have very very small circle when it comes to adhyatm so here I am saying it all out loud.
Its so freaking frustrating to have so many hurdles in an aspiring upasaka's life in today's world. Job,family,marriage all end up sucking all the time and energy,what is left is just exhaustion. I have been a patient of various chronic illness since I was a teenager,both physical and mental,and this ends up complicating everything even more.
I have heard that everyday activity is a sadhana if the mind is pure, but such a thing needs a certain level of consciousness,which I dont have for sure.
Then after all of this when u make some time to pursue anything adhyatmik,there comes rules and need of gurus and confusion all around. I believe now that very people exactly know what they are talking about and that too is mostly a second hand information. I wish someday Baba notices me and guides me in my path,whichever way it has to go. I am just super frustrated. I am sorry guys for this outburst. Please be kind.