Logic vs Emotion - Getting over my ex
Has anyone else experienced this?
I know logically and intellectually that my ex partner with BPD / NPD traits is not good for me.
However, I get trapped emotionally quite often. Thinking "Maybe I am the problem" or "I should have tried harder to fight for my family". We share a child together so not being able to seem them daily has also be very difficult for me (50/50 custody).
The event that triggered me recently is that she told me she's dating again. I have not dated at all, and don't have a desire to. For more context, we were married / together for 21 years.
We've been divorced 13 months, but she has been dating this person for 8-9 months. When I found that out... I was quite upset. Feeling like I wasn't good enough, etc. And it can spiral down so much that I get to feeling really down about myself.
She did a lot of very hurtful things during the divorce, and co-parenting with her is very challenging as it seems that she is living in a completely different reality.
If you've experienced feelings like these when your ex starts dating again, how do you handle them?
I have made a list of all the terrible things she's said and done over the years, and I review that from time to time to remind me that she's not good for me. But, I'm hurting now that she's dating again.
Thank you in advance, this forum has been helpful as a lurker.