u/Formal_Position_7686

Our conversation felt good to me, maybe a little too good, because now I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m glad you trusted me enough to open up the way you did, but at the same time I’ve been left sitting here confused by everything underneath it all.

You spoke to me in a way that felt deeper than before. More vulnerable. More emotionally honest. Like there were feelings behind your words that you were finally letting surface instead of keeping hidden. But then there was also guilt, fear, morality, consequences, and reminders that this situation isn’t simple.

I think that’s what’s been messing with my head. Trying to understand how someone can care so deeply while also sounding conflicted at the same time. Maybe you’re trying to protect yourself, maybe you’re trying to protect me, or maybe reality finally caught up to both of us. I honestly don’t know.

I just know hearing you speak the way you did changed something in my mind, because now I can’t tell if we’re standing in the middle of something real or just standing in the middle of emotions that became too hard to ignore.

Our conversation felt good to me, maybe a little too good, because now I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m glad you trusted me enough to open up the way you did, but at the same time I’ve been left sitting here confused by everything underneath it all.

You spoke to me in a way that felt deeper than before. More vulnerable. More emotionally honest. Like there were feelings behind your words that you were finally letting surface instead of keeping hidden. But then there was also guilt, fear, morality, consequences, and reminders that this situation isn’t simple.

I think that’s what’s been messing with my head. Trying to understand how someone can care so deeply while also sounding conflicted at the same time. Maybe you’re trying to protect yourself, maybe you’re trying to protect me, or maybe reality finally caught up to both of us. I honestly don’t know.

I just know hearing you speak the way you did changed something in my mind, because now I can’t tell if we’re standing in the middle of something real or just standing in the middle of emotions that became too hard to ignore.

I hope you figure your life out. I really do. But I can’t keep getting pulled into the chaos every time you feel lonely. You became my favourite secret and my biggest confusion at the same time. And maybe a part of me did love you in a way, but not enough to keep losing myself trying to understand you..

You arrived quietly,
like something I wasn’t supposed to keep,
but I did anyway…

Not loudly.
Not permanently.
Just enough to leave fingerprints on the parts of me I don’t show people.

You became my favourite secret,
the one hidden between late nights,
mixed signals, and almosts

There were moments
I thought you meant every word,
and moments you acted like none of them existed at all.

That’s the dangerous thing about people
who know how to make you feel wanted
without ever really staying.

I kept trying to understand you,
while slowly losing pieces of myself in the push and pull of it all.

And maybe that’s why this hurts differently.
Not because I lost something real,
but because I kept hoping it would become real eventually.

Now I sit with the silence, realizing some people
aren’t meant to be held onto..

I was invited to participate in a shuttle run as part of the hiring process. I’ve been practicing, my endurance is pretty high, however now as the time comes closer I’m getting nervous. How bad is it actually to complete it? Any tips would be greatly appreciated or advice or words of wisdom is welcomed! Thank you.