Player getting passive aggressive because I won't let him play as a half-ogre.
Might not be classified as a full on horror story but I'm looking on advice on how to prevent a bigger one from happening.
As the title says, I'm starting a new campaign in a few weeks and almost the entire party has made their characters. It's relevant to say that I have a few third party books players can use to make their characters, namely a book called Monstrous Heroes that adds a few race/class hybrids that are in my opinion balanced surprisingly well. One of my players is an earth elemental and another is a dragon, which SOUNDS very overpowered but from my impressions and what ive heard from others with the book they are relatively balanced.
This is relevant because this specific player really wants to play a half-ogre either wild mage sorcerer or wizard named Bogre the Ogre (for a serious campaign btw). Besides the name l actually didn't mind this idea too much, but I told him that if he wanted to play a half-ogre he could use the ogre class (from the same book). Only downside is that these race/classes have a trait that restricts multiclassing until you reach a certain level, so he would have to wait to either pick the oni-blooded subclass (Third caster) or wait to multiclass into sorcerer.
He didn't really take this well, which is a little weird because I was trying to work with him and he normally isn't like this. He said he doesn't want to use that book and just wants to play a half-ogre using a race he found on dndwiki. I don't know if people will agree with me on this but I a don't like the idea of having races like half-ogres be normal races because to have them be balanced they need to be Medium sized, which to me just makes it feel like you're not ACTUALLY representing the species properly and I feel like it would conflict with my settings lore for half-ogres. So I just told him directly that I feel like a monstrous race like that shouldn't be accessible unless he wants to dedicate himself to it. I also thought he would understand since when I've played with him as a DM he massively restricted player options, but it didn't bother me because I understood it was to fit his sitting.
INSTEAD what he does is scoff and start getting a little aggressive complaining about another player playing as a dragon while a half-ogre is too strong, so I tried to explain my reasoning but he literally just wasn't listening to me, or he would cut me off while I'm trying to speak to him like a normal person. I mentioned how it might be hard to justify his character in the setting, especially considering the name which just set him off even more. He ended up just going on a rant about the dragon player (who was also there making his character, we were in person). The dragon player ended up leaving and said he was going to finish his character with me later. The ogre player then ended up leaving as well because he wanted some time to cool off.
I've texted him a bit because we're meant to play a session of his campaign next week, but he keeps on just bringing up different points as to why I should let him play a half-ogre, and he keeps on dogging down on especially the dragon player's character. He's also been implying that he won't be playing in my campaign if he can't play as the half-ogre AND that I would be kicked from his campaign?
I really don't know what to do about this. We have a pretty small group so we need all the players we can get and the ogre player is a good friend I've had for years. I've been looking over the dragon/elemental classes and looking in the book's discord server but the only complaints I've seen is them being a little underpowered compared to normal character classes.
TL/DR: Player wants to play a half-ogre wild magic sorcerer with a joke name for a serious campaign. Currently allowing Monstrous Heroes to be used to make race/class characters, offered player to use one of those to fit the setting of the campaign but he has started becoming passive aggressive towards me and other players. I want to satisfy his needs, the needs of my other players and I want to stay friends with the player both in and outside d&d.
Using a new account so the player doesn't see this, might have gotten a bit too specific anyway but maybe seeing this will be a good way to calm him down? If anyone was wondering about the third party book its called Monstrous Heroes and its written by Esper the Bard.