I (F26) am starting to feel some resentment towards my husband (M27)
My husband and I moved to a small town so he could go to grad school for his PHD. We’re one year in and have 4 more to go. For starters I never wanted to move here to begin with however his options were quite limited. I’ve been trying to accept that these are our circumstances for the time being but I can’t help but feel some sort of resentment when certain things come up. For example, we are about 6 hours away from either of our parents when we used to be about 45 min away before moving here so visiting can be hassle. Our dog’s vet is Banfield which was about 10 min away from us where we used to live and now it’s an hour away in either direction. Since moving here our dog has developed the worst airborne allergies (we’re near a lot of farms) so he’s been itchy and red all over. When I watch him scratch I just get irritated knowing this wouldn’t be happening had we not moved here. When he’s sick we’re having to wait till the weekend to take him to his vet or call off of work if it’s bad enough. We looked at switching his vet but because the town is so small, the options weren’t that great. We went to go grab food the other night and most of what we wanted closed at 8 PM. There also aren’t many options to choose from to begin with. I had to get a new primary physician and all the local options sucked. I found one decent doctor about an hour away and figured if I’m just going once a year I’ll be fine. Got to the doctor’s office for my appointment and it turned out she cancelled my appointment without notifying me. My previous doctor who was 20 minutes away would never…
Some of things I realize are minuscule or minor however I can’t stop myself from drawing that line between it being his fault because we moved here. We are currently in therapy and she is fantastic and has been so helpful in our marriage. I talked to a friend about my feelings and I told her I just don’t see how I could bring this up in therapy. I feel bad for one because I know it’s bad to resent your partner, and I just don’t know how it could even be addressed? Me bringing it up and therapy doesn’t change that we’re in a small town far from what life used to be.