u/Forsaken-Tonight-357

Whenever i watch a show or a movie or read a book that is really good, and in my definition really good means I was so immersed in the given fictional world that I went inside it, felt like the charecters were real, empathized with them, created fake scenarios of me entering the world for real and helping or changing the life of some charecters, so on..

After I finish the given movie or show, I have this empty feeling of as if my brain is unable to discern what's real and what's fake, I get so involved in charecters emotions and understanding them that it feels like I am trying to empathize with a real person, that after finishing the show it is as if a friend of mine just disappeared and I miss them, I am not sure how to explain that feeling.

This doesn't happen with charecters that aren't well written, the extent to where they feel human as in well written is proportional to how much i attach to them.

Yesterday i watched a really good show until late night, and today I woke up feeling so so empty, I am unable to move forward with reality and daily chores, I am just sitting on my bed thinking wow so those characters were not real huh, but I keep thinking about them, I mean I do have an habit that whenever i watch or read something I daydream insert myself in the world and fix things, also imitate a charecter while walking in my room senselessly, feeling that what I would have done different if that kind of situation happened in real life to me, acting out the emotions dialogues, so on. Maybe that's messing up my perception of reality and fiction but damn...

No matter what show it is I want to leave my reality and be in that world, maybe it's because I find real life so boring to the point that I don't take as much interest in it as i would take in a fictional world.

So when we solve an equation for x.

Let's say

10+x = 20 or x*5=20 or 10-x=5 or something like that

In

If I do

10 = 20-x or x = 20-10

x= 20÷5 or 5 = 20÷ x

10=5+x or -x=5-10

All of them will give the same answer

But in division

10÷x=5

10= 5*x or x=5*10

Won't give the same answer

I know it sounds rather stupid but I wanna know why exactly.

Why is that only in division , we can only work with dividend.

While in other cases we can work with either.

I went to claude and it's gaslighting me.

Google isn't helpful either.

My people of math please help.

Just as my title says, with ridiculous teachers and bad education system i ended up hating math so much that I would feel like throwing up and crying at the thought of even doing it.

One day out of pure spite I opened khan academy arithmetic and did unit 1 multiplication, for doubts and questions I went to claude, and figured out hey learning and doing math is actually quite fun. I was lied to lmao.

I tried to simplify it as much as I could because the more I overcomplicate it the more my adhd brain will say goodbye we will come back 10 years later.

So I decided to stick with khan academy.

And this order of learning on my own pace.

Arithmetic - Basic geometry - Pre algebra - algebra 1 and 2 - trigonometry - pre calculus - calculus 1 and 2 - statistics and probability - linear algebra - differential equations.

This is what I have for now.

After some research i figured out being heavily reliant on ai for deeper explanations is probably a bad idea.

A lot of people suggest textbooks are the way to go.

But with so many options I ended up in decision paralysis.

I do want to learn in a deep manner, but I don't want to get stuck in planning stage forever trying to sort out my resources or get burnt out again and start hating math.

Any help is appreciated thank you!