My autistic partner can't get a formal diagnosis.
I hate to even think about the unfairness of the situation, but it's just so frustrating to see my partner not getting any support nor formal approval that her whole life, she was just autistic and nothing wrong with her.
She went through a lot of crap, because people always treated her differently (for the worse), just because she behaved differently.
There was a moment early in our relationship, when she spontaneously told me "I may, or may not have autism" and that uncertainty was expressed only to me, but thought her whole life.
She masked herself very well in front of me, before we were in a relationship, so I didn't even have a sliver of thought that she may be autistic.
But I listened, and not being able to tell what's different about herself and the others, while managing her tiring day to day life and being treated like shit or like a baby in every social setting. It's just excruciating to imagine.
We both talked more about it and she talked more about it with her therapist and social worker and we all got to a point, where it was evident and clear that she has autism.
I supported her by encouraging her to get a diagnosis, while accompanying her to the autism clinic (or whatever it's called in eng) every time.
They were friendly and all, but the waiting time (about a year) until she got an appointment was just kinda outrageous and for naught in the end.
They mentioned that they will not give any diagnosis without being 100% certain and at first it seemed professional but turned unfair later on.
So she took all kinds of tests and her mother, who btw is the cause of all this, never complied nor did anything for her.
The mother checked everything as "false" on the form of the behavioral tendencies of my partner. She didn't put an inch of effort in it and just checked everything as "false".
Long story short, after another year of wasting time, they told my partner that they don't find it worthwhile to diagnose her because it's going to take very long without her mother's help.
Like... I'm trying my best not to incorporate too many bad words, but it's just frustrating.
I'm trying to cheer her up every time I get and research on what we can do to get her that diagnosis but I'm just lost atp.