AITAH for talking to my girlfriend about another dude?
I’m going to try and keep this as short as possible but recently my girlfriend of 1 years and 4 months passed her driving test (3 weeks ago) and was bought a run down car by her mum for £500. This obviously meant she had a lot of freedom she didn’t have before and shes been going out after work with people from work. Shes a waitress so works late and is sometimes out with them until about 2am if not later.
The thing that bothered me is that she has recently been going out with another guy, let’s call him bob, and the whole dynamic has been making me uncomfortable. She finishes work, goes home to get changed, and her and bob meet at a mc Donald’s car park. They get mc Donald’s and drive around and do whatever until late in the morning 2/3 o’clock, and on one occasion (I’ll touch on in a minute) 5am. This is a one-to-one setting, late at night.
Now as you could imagine I was uncomfortable with this situation but I trust her (I still do). I would like to add that we have each other on life 360 and she messages me the whole time she’s out and updates me on how she’s doing and where she’s going etc. The next night she went out and when she came back home she called me (we call every night when she’s home) and said about how he opened up to her about being depressed and that made me a little more uncomfortable because that added emotional intimacy into the mix.
The next night she came home from being out and when she called me she was clearly upset so I asked her what was wrong and she said that bob had been trying to self-harm and burn himself in her car while they were parked up. She said that for like an hour she was trying to get him to stop and when he did she took him home and they were silent the entire drive home and then she went straight home. I thought after this it would stop but for some reason she keeps going out to see him. I have told her explicitly “This situation is making me uncomfortable” but she just seems to try and find ways to justify it and says that she’s glad she can be there for him to talk to.
Since this whole situation has started she also hasn’t stayed round my house once and like I said whenever I tried to talk about it she would just be very cold with me. I’m really trying to figure out what’s going on in her head because before when we would tell each other we were uncomfortable with something the other person wouldn’t do it but I just don’t know what’s changed now. I’m just scared and I want to help her but idk what to do and I always feel like the asshole for trying to tell her that I don’t want her to be doing this.
Sorry for the long read but any advice would be helpful.