u/Forsaken_Slice461

I’ve started to think that many Libyans live with two layers of decision-making.

The first is the normal layer we all see. You talk to someone, discuss a business deal, marriage, travel, work or some important decision, and everything seems straightforward.

Then there is another layer that people rarely talk about openly.

Behind the scenes, most people have a sheikh, a Sufi figure, كاهن , عرافة, or guru they consult. They ask whether they should marry someone, enter a business, travel, or make another major decision. Everyone seems to have their own religious justification for why what they do is acceptable in Islam.

I never really paid attention to this back in Libya.

I studied abroad, came back 2016 started working. Over the years, I had situations where someone would behave inorganically for no obvious reason and would suddenly change their mind just before a business deal was completed. I assumed it was normal indecision.

Recently, though, I started noticing this hidden layer .
One Libyan abroad genuinely asked me:

“ How did you immigrate without consulting a عرافة?”

I remember thinking: What the f***, man?

Are we seriously still making major life decisions like this? 🤢🤢

And what frustrates me most is that after consulting the sheikh, the arraf, the stars, the coffee cup, or whoever else, people come back and simply tell you:
"توكلنا على الله."
What did you leave for god, you’ve already توكلت على الالهة و النجوم و الشياطين.
كفار قريش فخورين جدا بيكم……..

Children are placed at the bottom of a hierarchy where adults can shout at them, hit them, humiliate them.

Then we wonder why they grow up to be angry, militant, and broken.

If you make your child to fear you to feel respected, you have already failed as a parent 👎

Is it a colonial leftovers?

If you could choose any country to be born in, which one would you choose, and why?

«Toute nation a le gouvernement qu’elle mérite.»
«لكل أمة الحكومة التي تستحقها»

— جوزيف** دو ميستر (Joseph de Maistre)
فيلسوف ومفكر سياسي **فرنسي، 1811

There is no real system it’s just chaos and no one teaches you how to do things there is no guidelines what considers to be in one city and the other city others to be. Shameful.

0 spaces for individual freedom. You are expected to live according to what society considers Halal or Haram. personal choices can become a social issue.
Any thinking outside of the box or the accepted way of thinking is quickly judged.

There is one dominant view of reality: we are the victims.
All type of conspiracy theories from government to foreigner power to Cousins, who are trying to catch you spell on you.

Obedience and absolute control is taught from a very young age. Obey your parents. “رضى الوالدين "

Emotional manipulation is normalized. "بلادك هيا بلادك" "معزز مكرم

Everyone has an opinion about your life. What you wear, how to talk, who you talk to, where you go, what you do. Your life.

Individuality is forbidden. If you want to live differently, people can see it as disrespecting the family, religion, culture, or society. "البس كما يعجبك و كول زي ما ياكلوا الناس"

There is a strong culture of shame. "حي شن بيقلو عليا الناس"

The hardest part of this all from the day you were born, you’re giving very little chance to be a real human other than you’re just another member of the society.

This is obviously my personal experience. I’m curious if other Libyans, feel the same way.