[Complete] [116k] [Epic Fantasy] The Star and The Storm
Hi, I'm looking for a beta reader.
I'm an Italian author with multiple published novels. My next book is forthcoming from a US publisher. The Star and the Storm was written before the rise of AI writing tools. So no AI was used in the creative process. The cover artwork of the original Italian version was commissioned from a professional human artist. For this English version, I worked with AI assistance solely as a translation support tool, with every word and every decision remaining my own.
About the book:
Innate magic has brought death and destruction. That is why the Mark was created, a ritual that suppresses the power of those born with it, forced on every innate in the Ivorian Empire whether they consent or not.
Eledriel refused it and exile was the only alternative to death.
Years later, the seals on the Rift are failing, a magical anomaly she helped create after betraying her people and forging a reckless alliance with the Outcast. The most powerful innate, and the one man she should never have loved.
Now the Rift is destabilizing. When it breaks, everything breaks with it. Eledriel has no choice but to go home and ask for help from the people who exiled her, carrying the weight of everything she did and everything she lost.
The story moves across two timelines that converge, tracing both the choices that led to the catastrophe and the desperate attempt to undo them.
Content notes: violence, trauma, sexual content, morally grey characters making genuinely difficult choices.
What I'd love from you is an honest assessment whether the story works, and whether the English reads naturally to a native or fluent speaker. Since this is a translation from Italian, I want to know if anything feels off, unnatural, or out of place in terms of language and style, as well as your genuine reaction to the plot, characters, and pacing.
Let me know if anyone is interested. Thank you!