How to feel about not feeling guilty?
My wife and I, both 36, are fortunate to have a wonderful 14-month-old daughter. She’s healthy, happy and seems to be developing well. There have been tough times, of course, but these have been a “bad week” at most, here and there. We know how lucky we are.
My wife had a relatively straightforward pregnancy and an uncomplicated childbirth. She has avoided postpartum issues, and has transitioned beautifully from her profession into being a full-time mum. Again, we’re very lucky.
We’re hoping to get by without childcare; both the seemingly endless illnesses that our friends, extended families and their children seem to endure, and the marginal financial gain of both of us working, only to see our daughter outside of business hours, just didn’t seem to stack up for us at the moment. We’re currently lucky to be able to make that decision.
We’d been pregnant with twins around 15 months before our daughter was born, and miscarried before 12 weeks. We didn’t go into that pregnancy being OAD - if asked, we were both “probably 2?” people. But now that our daughter is here, my heart is so full that I couldn’t contemplate us having another.
As above, there’s no outward reason for us *not* to go again. I’ve read every rationale for having more. Both my wife and I have siblings with whom we’re still close. Our daughter is beautifully social and caring, and would be a wonderful big sister. She’s also lucky to have cousins very close to her age, whom she’ll see regularly as they all grow up.
Again, these are all good problems to have - and I know the community I’m talking to here! I’m not here to gloat, or to hand-wring about the possibility of another.
I’m just surprised that I’m *not* feeling any inclination for another, nor any guilt about the decision to be OAD. It’s a strange - if peaceful - feeling, and I wonder if anyone here felt similarly, and what you felt next? Thank you!
TL;DR I never thought I’d be OAD, have no “reason” not to be … but do I need one?