Is being Agender & Bigender at the same time possible?
I'm going through a rather sudden but impactful gender crisis after 29 years as a cis man.
Almost all my friends are some form of under the trans umbrella, and have thought me an egg for a while, but when I heard them out or heard their thoughts on what I "could be", it didn't add up, so I just assumed I was just a cis dude who was pretty chill.
But I did a little gender quiz for fun last week and it gave me the result of gender agnostic (I may be misremembering the term, I'm hiding in my basement from a dual tornado warning so I don't really feel the mood to confirm), which wasn't correct, but it expressed the idea of feeling like I didn't have a gender. And it hit me /hard/. I've never really thought of the possibility, but, i definitely felt something about that.
I looked up similar labels & terms and widdled it down to several: demiboy, libramasc, cassboy, or Bigender.
All this to say, I don't even know if those terms are right, but I feel like I've done so much reading and made my brain dead and I feel like I'm at a block because nothing feels quite right. But I definitely know I'm some form of agender.
I suppose the one thing I know for sure is that I sometimes present more feminine (makeup, crop tops, "women's clothing" -- but nothing super "femme", no dresses or skirts outside of Halloween costumes), and I like being colloquially referred to as a "guy" and dislike being referred to as she/her or "girl/woman". But that's about where my definite knowledge & introspection ends.
Whenever I think about "my gender" I just draw a blank. It's like trying to imagine a new colour or think about your next thought: there's no thought. Just empty. I don't really perceive it, I guess.
So, this is my longshot post for a hope for some form of advice or help! Bigender came to mind because I don't mind being perceived a guy, but that could just be a lack of caring/I don't want to be a burden on people
(And fingers crossed I don't get offed by a tornado lmaoo)