Overwhelmed
My (27) dad (74) has been disabled his whole life, on top of other health concerns. I have been worried about his health since I was very young.
Somehow my dad has managed to live alone for a long time. I lived with him briefly and so did my brother when we were finishing college, and that’s when we realized the state of the decline. Now, he lives alone about 15 minutes away and wheel chair bound.
My dad has never been able to have serious conversations. When we bring stuff up he either jokes it off or gets frustrated and refuses to engage. He’s always said he will not go into an “old folk home” after seeing his parents being mistreated in one. However, I think he’s slowly coming to terms with the fact that he needs help and it’s now falling on me, my husband, and my brother. I bring him weekly dinners and we all help with household tasks and driving to appointments when we can but otherwise he gets no external help.
The thing is, my husband and I are both in masters/doctorate programs and have seriously limited time and energy already. My dad has hinted several times that we all buy a house so I can essentially care for him. But given the whole grad school/no income thing that doesn’t seem realistic.
I don’t know where to go from here. I dont know how to prepare, what I need to know in case this becomes more urgent, or how to even talk to him. I also don’t know if I need to put school on hold in order to figure this out. Not sure if I’m asking for advice or solidarity. But I don’t exactly know many other people in this position so I’m feeling lost!