Left my boyfriend of 5 years
We’ve recently been talking a lot about getting engaged but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I love him so much. I want my life with him I do. I want to marry him so much. But I can’t marry porn. I can’t feel like this for the rest of my life.
I’ve tried to help him so much in every way possible. In every way that I can. I’ve been so patient. I’ve been so understanding. I know that I’ve been a good partner. I know. But I don’t even feel like he’s trying anymore. He doesn’t take any accountability. He still follows OF women on Instagram. He’s still subscribed to them on snap. He won’t even delete the porn. He won’t go to therapy. He won’t track his triggers. He won’t do the very basic first step.
And he still lies to me? Everyday he lies to me. I’ve never shamed him. I’ve never guilt tripped him. But he lies to me and thinks that I don’t see the OF emails or the obvious stains on the bed. The lying is perhaps the worst. The lies broke us up not the porn.
He says that he loathes his porn addiction but he won’t do any work to stop it?
You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change.
God I love him so much. This has killed me. It’s torn me apart.