Replaced by AI
First time poster, been a lurker here and there for awhile.
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My husband has had problems with porn use and it affecting the intimacy in our marriage off and on for years. We have "talked" more than once (and by that I mean I talk at him and he refuses to respond, sits there like a deer in headlights, or leaves) but he keeps finding his way back to porn, or otherwise seeking intimacy by other means. I have never withheld intimacy from him. I never even turn down sex when he has wanted it, for fear it may be the last time he ever does. Currently, he hasn't touched me since November.
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Our last "talk" was in April, and I flat out told him I don't want him using porn anymore. I have no way of knowing if he has used it, he holds onto his phone like it's a vital organ, but what I do know is that he has started talking to AI chat bots and engaging in explicit sexting/roleplay, and is spending literally hours a day/night doing so. This is just what I've observed from sneaking looks/pictures of his screen.
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Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night to engage, he will come home from work and sit in the driveway typing away instead of coming inside for a long time. If he thinks I'm looking at his screen he'll jerk his phone away and switch to Reddit, leave the room, or give me a crappy attitude to get me to go away. Confronting him is not an option. When he realized I saw what he was doing a few days ago, he literally left the house saying he "can't deal with this" even though I hadn't even said anything to him, I just went to another room to be sad and he sought me out to see me crying.
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I don't even know where I'm going with this post. I'm just so hurt and lost. I can't leave, not presently, so I'm stuck living with this person who is constantly choosing escapism over me when all I have ever done is wanted to love him and be with him. I know it's not my fault, but it's hard to not feel like there's something wrong with me that he will literally choose a robot over me.
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He's currently been chatting away with a sex bot since about 4am (it's 6:30 now) and he's just moved out to the couch because he realized I'm awake. I have been for hours, but he didn't notice. He hasn't so much as said good morning, just moved off to have privacy with his phone.
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This post is so disjointed, I know. I've barely slept in days. I think I just needed to share my pain with people who might understand before I lose my mind.