what’s the extent you would go for someone of your preferred gender that you’re not attracted to?
for context: i have already posted this on another subreddit but the comments are also pretty mixed, lowkey they’re making me more confused…
want you guys’ two cents.
i’ve never had a close friend of the opposite gender before. not up till now (well, i did, like over a decade ago, but those people did actually like me…).
i’m just fascinated at how much my guy friend is willing to entertain me over the phone even when he’s in ns, when he’s not interested in me.
maybe it’s because i’m realistic or reserved in nature, but when i imagine myself in his shoes, i would never reply to someone i’m not attracted to that much, especially when in an environment where i’m constantly physically or mentally exhausted. even if i did, my responses would probably unconsciously get drier and drier over time…
or maybe it’s just that ns warps perception and he’s just seeking stimulation or attention because he’s actually quite a bad listener (no offence)… but i guess i do enjoy him sharing about what’s going on in his life more and i don’t really like sharing much about myself anyways.
personally, you will never catch me calling someone at night to talk, spilling my guts, sharing pictures, updating when i’ll be away and when i come back or even having a “soft spot” for someone of the opposite gender that i don’t have feelings for. heck, i don’t even do that with my girl friends. but i guess it is quite a narrow mindset to have. or maybe it’s because i’ve never been this close to a guy before, apart from relationships.
i know that in some other countries the “hb hg” culture is stronger and that this is completely normal, but in singapore’s context i’m not sure if this is that common… since i don’t think i have witnessed such friendships from my peers, unless they are talking stages or situationships.
i’m not sure if he’s like this with other girls, but from what i have heard from his guy friends, he’s quite secretive and doesn’t really show how he truly feels. but it might be because i’m a girl, so he’s more comfortable opening up because girls are more in touch with their feelings (?)
so i might actually have a genuine friend 🥹 curious to know, what’s your boundary when it comes to guy girl friendships or similar ones?
to those who suspect he’s interested, i honestly highly doubt you’d be particularly meaner to a girl you have feelings for compared to others tbh. and in terms of material gifts, i’m really not up there with his other peers either. and i also highly doubt you’d not bother making time to see a person you like. or initiate conversation even. so.
edit: of course i get the concept of close platonic relationships, but there comes a point before someone starts to suspect/misunderstand right… (the line is what i’m asking about btw, like what even is the line anymore…)
like let’s say you’re not interested in your friend, but you suspect that your friend is into you, but you also don’t want to ruin the friendship or make things weird, how would you be able to tell in that case?
edit 2: idek anymore #igiveup