Relapse
Hi. I’m 16. I know all the business about, oh you can’t be diagnosed until you’re twenty something, you’re so young and still growing up, your personality isn’t formed yet, this and that. I understand this but I know who I am and I know how the people in my family are. A year ago, or maybe a bit longer after, I was really focused on trying to be better. At least that’s what it felt like. It’s hard to tell when everything is like a game and you’re so focused on winning people over and trying to make them like you more and think you’re better or special or different. A bit off topic though. Anyways, I had made a good amount of progress I think. Now, that’s all gone. I’m back to the way I was, and even less self aware. I started this journey when I was around 13. Im really lost. I’m pushing my friends away and I take nothing seriously , and truly all that matters to me is feeding my ego and giving myself attention. I don’t know what to fucking do anymore and I don’t think I even want to try anything. I hate everything.