WIBTA for no longer being friends with someone I know is in a toxic relationship?
My friend got into her first relationship and basically just turned into a very low maintenance sort of friend which I am definitely not.
She became obsessed with her boyfriend and I tried being understanding because it was her first relationship. They would consistently break up and get back together(his decision every time). She constantly chose her boyfriend over preplanned events with me and just stopped reaching out. We had many fights over this, but it never seemed to get better. I saw her doing this to other friends as well. About a year ago the boyfriend broke up with her. I still tried to be her friend and be there for her.
She was depressed for months over this 6 month relationship and would still ditch plans, never ask to hang out, and never message first (severe depression). So she got with a new guy as a rebound after about two/three months. Her new man refuses to even call it a relationship even after like 7/8 months, but they consistently hook up until he decides he wants to try with his ex again until a couple days pass and he realizes his ex doesn’t want him or until he decides he doesn’t want to be with her and then changes his mind the next morning. She is aware that she is attracted to people who treat her wrong and she genuinely looks for it to an extent.
It’s gotten to a point where my friend and I are basically acquaintances, but in passing she brought up this relationship again and revealed that it is worse than I thought. This person makes comments about her body, controls what’s she wears, criticizes her for everything. I tell her this is manipulation and she says she knows.
She says she is waiting for her to care less, but I know that’s not how she actually is. Just a month ago she was posting on her story crying about it for a week straight. And this man genuinely makes me worry for my old friend, but I’m not willing to only be there for her because she has no other friends in the area after her mistreatment for years. I’m finally at a place in my life where I don’t care if she responds anymore and I don’t feel the need to message first after a month of not talking. I worry for her and I hope for the best, but I don’t want to put myself back in the position where I’m waiting days for a response and never get asked to hang out and get canceled on all the time. I gave her multiple chances over three years to fix these problems that I would address and they just never changed.
There is no way I can possibly convince her to be the one to end the relationship so I don’t know what else I can possibly do. She does have other friends in general so I know she wouldn’t be completely alone, but I don’t know if I should stay friends with her just because I know this relationship is particularly toxic and I don’t want her being treated this way even though she is aware and not willing to do anything about it.
WIBTA if I stopped being friends with my old friend who I know is in a toxic relationship?