u/Frequent-Flower2330

for basic information: im 21 and they're 23, we live long distance. im going to preface with the fact that i have no hate towards my partner for their npd traits! however, we both understand that some of their traits mixed with mine cause the relationship to struggle, especially since i'm a big pushover who tends to people please.

they can be rather unaffectionate, because they personally aren't a very affectionate person. however, i'm extremely affectionate and lovey. the lack of affection unfortunately makes me frequently feel undesired. they also really dislike change. i have to move far away when i turn 22 next year, all the way from my home state to go to where they are, and i'm a little afraid that i won't find good work. i have to change a lot so they dont have to, and i'm also losing a lot because of it.

overall, i just really fear that in the future, i'll be unhappy and unable to do anything about it. i have to suppress a lot of stuff about myself (being loud, my favorite music, activities i enjoy) to make them happy. I don't want them to be unhappy, but I don't want to be unhappy either. don't get the wrong idea, they really do geniunely love me, and feels i'm the only person to understand them and feel safe around in a long time. but i'm also scared i'll hurt them if i do anything outside of their comfort zone.

so i thought id come here to ask those with NPD. how do you reach a compromise best? how could i go about approaching this concern? i'm just afraid of losing them while also losing myself. any advice helps, honestly, it doesn't have to be hyperspecific.

EDIT: quick edit to add the context that my partner is also autistic. the NPD is medically recognized but not properly diagnosed due to a lack of resources.

Last night when driving on the interstate, I had to accelerate pretty quickly while at high speed (maybe 85 mph). For about a minute at most, my check engine light began blinking. However, after I slowed down to about 65-70 mph, the light stopped and it hasn't been a problem since (even when I went back up to 80 mph again).

I know that usually indicates a severe misfire, but I don't exactly have the time to get an appointment with a mechanic, since I leave for a 12 hour drive in just 4 days. However, I don't want to get stranded in the middle of that drive either. Any advice on what it might be? I'm hoping its just the spark plugs but I haven't checked.

It's a 2007 Ford Taurus with about 86K miles on it. I'm already planning on getting a new car in a couple months but I obviously need this one until then.