u/Frequent-Mushroom979

I’ve got a week in Tokyo and a week in Osaka coming up in a couple of weeks (6-20 June). This will be my second time. I’m a big live music fan…. Rock, punk, indie, folk, country anything really.

I think I lucked out last time in Osaka with my accommodation a 5 minute walk from Namba Mele and they just happened to have bands on every night that I LOVED!

In Tokyo I was either at Koenji Showboat, Club Heavy Sick or my absolute fav Rokudemonai Yoru.

I did find it a little tricky to find local gig guides online. Does anyone have any reddit pages, Instagram pages, or general gig guide recommendations for me?

Also feel free to let me know about any other great Livehouses or bands. I will be staying in Shimokitazawa and Koenji in Tokyo, and Namba in Osaka. I’m more than happy to travel anywhere for great local live music.

I love everything about Japan, but I am happy to spend 2 weeks just hopping from gig to gig.

Also if anyone knows of any cool punk rock hairdressers, I could also do with a cool haircut.

Thank you!

Hi everyone. I’m in need of a little help.

I was discarded from a 9 year long relationship about 6 months ago. I was about to leave, I think she knew this and got in quick for a discard so that she could control the narrative. I didn’t know that she had BPD, and I still can’t know for certain. She often spoke of her mental health history but hid the details. The relationship was full of classic BPD behaviour.

Within one session of describing some of her weird words and actions to my psychologist, he suggested I look up BPD. It fits her to an absolute tee and after 6 months of looking back at our relationship through a BPD lens, I am sooooo sure that’s what she has.

Anyways, I’ll get to the point…. About 6 months before the discard something clicked in me, I knew the relationship was not healthy and that my needs were not being met. I was walking on eggshells and I think I knew it was BPD without knowing what BPD was (if you know what I mean).

I started setting boundaries and expectations. Calling out behaviour that was not ok. I think you all know how that would’ve been received. It was at this point (I didn’t know at the time) that she started telling people that she did not feel safe with me. Setting up the ground work for the brutal discard.

After she discarded me I felt so relieved. I think she wanted me to beg, but when I didn’t she started spreading to all of my friends that I abused her in every way possible for the entirety of our relationship. All lies. But the way she set it up and executed it was like Gone Girl level shit. I have to give her credit here, she did a spectacular job.

A bunch of my closest friends fell for it, and still believe it. Quite a few of them still want to be friends with me but they just don’t believe me. They all want me to work on myself so that I don’t do the thing I never did again.

I’ve had the worst 6 months of my life. I’ve been a ball of depression and anxiety. I’ve been going to therapy every 2 weeks. The last month I have recovered. I’m happy, feel positive for the future. My sense of humour is back. I’m sleeping again. I got a new dog who is absolutely adorable. I finally feel like I am me again.

That is, until I see these few friends that still believe her lies. An hour with any of them and I feel horrible again. Knowing that they think I am this monster just kills me.

What should I do? Should I just ignore them for a while and hope they come around? Should I tell them how I feel? Should I just accept this is the reality they will always believe?

I have always been such a good friend to these people. They don’t even want to listen to my side of the story. I too come from a position of “believe all women”, but in this instance it’s just not true.

I want these people in my life but talking to them just pulls me back in to the black hole I have just invested every single piece of me getting out of.