My girlfriend F34 keeps calling me stupid M36
It's hard for me to explain how i feel. I'm very confused and English is not my native language, so I'll do my best.
I've been living with my girlfriend for 18 months. She says I have poor communication skills and don't talk to her as much as I should. The communication part is not my strongest suit. I'm an introvert, and a really quiet one. She reminds me that for instance, I didn't tell her about my mom inviting us over, or maybe my dad said he could help me with something, and I forgot to tell her. Doesn't happen all the time, but it has happened.
I'm also financially struggling at the moment, so she calls me cheap and selfish. I used to take her out more and now it's been difficult. Some other misunderstandings here and there, about regular living together stuff.
Then comes the rough part. Whenever she gets upset, she yells so loud and calls me stupid or idiot. Sometimes it even hurts my ears because she is so loud. "How can someone as smart as you, be so stupid to forget your mom invited us over?". Depending on the day, she says that I'm like my mom (she doesn't like my mom), that I'm like her mom (she hates her mom), or that I'm like this stupid person she saw on Tiktok or whatever. Let's pretend the stupid person's name is Grace, so she calls me Grace, like "Oh no.... poor little Grace, you didn't remember that either? Another thing little Grace couldn't understand?", even though I'm a man.
One day, I told her I didn't want to do something she was asking me to do (pay for something I broke) because we are a team and she also broke something of mine, that I don't ask her to pay for it, and if anything, we should buy both things together. She got really upset and called me a bitch. "Oh boy, I knew you were cheap, but you've just outdone yourself you little bitch. And I thought I was the bitch." The proceeded to send an audio message to her friend about how I was a bitch.
Some other times she's said I'm a monster, she said that I'm a Gremlin (I used to be the cute little one, now I'm the huge asshole), that she can understand why my ex left me, called me dickface, selfish motherfucker, and more.
The sad part is that I do feel as if I'm failing, that I should have talked more, communicated more, been less cheap, taken better care of her, and she probably wouldn't have acted this way. She tells me "Do you think I'm crazy? Do I wake up and say, hey let's yell and fight today? Of course not. I want peace, you made me angry with all your mistakes and your selfishness"
I really need some advice. I've been trying to improve. It's really hard for me but I've been doing my best, tried so hard to communicate more, mention almost everything that happened during my day, take her out, but then there is always something. I feel a little afraid when she gets upset and starts yelling. Not sure what else to do.