[US] Did you end up with a robust parenting plan?
Everything I have read is that you need a robust parenting plan and now it appears my ex refusing to agree to almost any parenting plan provision. I have been in a custody battle for nearly 3 years. My ex has been fighting the professionals for 50/50. Multiple investigations were done resulting generally in a 9/5 schedule. One professional was open to my ex having slightly more time in summer, but not 50/50. My ex has switched lawyers 4 times. The last time was forced after his associate attorney became so aggressive calling the GAL incompetent and harassing me that she was pulled from his file by the senior partner at that firm. My lawyer said it would like help push settlement. Now he attempted to settle still pushing for more time in summer, but I countered with similar to GAL and his lawyer is writing it up. I know my ex is beyond upset as from the start he said he wanted 50/50 on paper, but I could keep the kids all the time. He is already refusing to respond to messages about our kids and acting erratically and performative, which again is something the GAL noted in the past. He doesn't actually care about being a dad, he just wants to win. Even his adult child will say things like dad only cares about me when it is about him, otherwise she comes to me for actual support. Even on her wedding day, he complained non-stop and went against every wish she told him as it wasn't what he wanted. It simply reminded me that is what my younger kids continue to deal with every day of their lives as even on the most important days of their lives, it will never be about them.
The issue is we spent 20 hours drafted a parenting plan in coparenting therapy that wasn't perfect but had a lot of provisions like using OFW, responding to messages within 24 hours, automatic agreement if no response in 48 hours, not allowing significant other at mutually attended education and medical appointments, robust non-disparaging clauses, etc. My ex is now saying he wants to throw out the entire plan and it sounds like he wants a very bare bones with just schedule, holiday plan, and vacation. He hasn't been following the plan we had so I know why he wants it all dropped, but it gave me a lot of options to proceed and also document his non-compliance.
In the past my lawyer has said judges in our county don't get into details of parenting plans. I filed as my ex is controlling and abusive. I really wanted a plan to protect my rights and the kids. I also know just a few months ago everyone was in agreement the draft parenting plan was mostly agreed upon and my ex stated it in court. The custody study also recommended individual therapy for him and continued coparenting therapy, but I know my ex feels he doesn't need help. Coparenting therapy was a bit of joke as my ex would agree to a lot and then completely disregard and the therapist didn't hold him accountable. The therapist who did resulted in him quitting after 1 session. That said it allowed me to document things and was some sort of escalation point. I wonder if I can use that though to demand he agree to a parenting plan over asking the judge to order therapy.
For some more background, my ex made his older child hate her mother and constantly spoke negatively about her. He has openly admitted in writing to doing the same to my kids with me. He has also listed his new partner as mother and my son has been told I'm his secondary mom. I have zero doubt him and his partner will continue to escalate as my kids are already acting completely off (when he tries to turn them against me it results in them being much more clingy and making awkward comments about me). My ex will demand to take over things like every other appointment, but then he will just stop for months at a time. He has extensive substance use issues and I think his new partner does as well, but not in a way easy to prove to court. That said, I do think it has effected his ability to function like when a doctor told him our child had a brain injury and he thought she was fine. The GAL said there is zero doubt I'm the primary parent based on these types of issues, but my ex I think believes he can do it too.
Did you end up having essentially no parenting plan provisions? The idea of this is daunting for me as the draft plan we had was working reasonably well and I could have lived with it and just continued documenting how he was not following it. He has also done things like push to remove my daughter's therapist who did confront him about his concerning behaviors.