u/FrequentlyToughLife

This is going to be a long one so i apologize in advance but i really need to type it out.

I (21F) just found out i've been completely left out of something that everyone in my closest circle has known about for YEARS, and i honestly don't know if i'm overreacting or if this is actually as messed up as it feels.

For context, I have a twin brother (21M). We're somewhat close in a sense that we have a lot in common, but we don't really talk about personal stuff that much. Growing up, we've always shared friend groups to some extent, but i've always been intentional about boundaries. We're both extroverted and make friends easily so naturally ive gotten close with some of his guy friends and so has he with my girl friends. But at some point he told me he didnt really like that and asked me to stay within my own friend group so i respected that. My friend group consists of 6 girls. Two of them (i'll call them A and B, both 21F) are my closest friends, ive known them for about 8 years (from highschool). Another girl in our friend group (i'll call her C also 21F) is also someone close to me we hang out together sometimes but not as much as i do with A and B.

A, B and my twin brother are also in the same college program, they have classes together, group projects, they study together so they naturally see eachother a lot and are also friends. So there's a lot of overlap.

Now onto what happened

Today, A was upsest about something involving C. Both of them went of a trip overseas lasting 2 weeks and just cameback yesterday. I figured something must've happened during the trip. So A texted both me and B separately saying she was mad about an issue and wanted to talk, but when she explained it to me she was extremely vague and refused to give context or even say who it involved, but still asked for my opinion on the matter. I couldnt really help because i had no idea what was going on. Then later today (around 11 pm) she made a group call with both me and B because she wanted to vent but as soon as we joined the call she suddenly didnt feel like talking abt it so we changed the subject. Then a few minutes later she left for a while, and when she came back i had to leave as well and finish something that would take a while, but i didnt leave the call i just deafened removed my earphones. Then 40 minutes later i came back (i believe they thought i was asleep and forgot to leave the call) so i stayed muted but un-deafened because i was in the middle of something. And that's when i overheard them talking.

I found out that C had been in a romantic relationship with my twin brother for 2 years since 2023 and had been on and off until this day and EVERYONE in our friend group knew about it except me. A knew. B knew. Other people in our circle knew. They had talked abt it, given advice and discussed their rls for years. At one point A even played cupid by helping them get the other one.
So for years, this entire situation has been known by the people i trust most and i was the only person completely left out of it.

What hurt even more is that when i realized what they were talking about, i unmuted and said 'hey im back, what did i miss/what were you talking about?' in a playful way to not tense up the conversation but they immediately changed the subject and started planning a hangout tmr like nothing happened. Even earlier in that call when A left briefly, I brought up the subject about A bieng upset abt something and B even said 'Oh, i didnt think she would tell you, that's why i didnt want to say anything' which made it even more confusing because it confirmed that they knew abt it and i was completely left out. And C is also someone i consider a close friend, she's not just a stranger in the story she's part of my circle.

On top of that, there's been a long pattern where A and B come to me whenever they have issues with my brother. They vent ot me, ask for advice, and justify it by saying things like 'you're his twin, you understand him better' or ' you know how he can be sometimes' So i've often been put in the position of giving emotional support or insights about him. But now that i realize that while i've been that role for years, i was also being kept out of something major involving him and someone i considered a close friend.

What's also frustrating is the hypocrisy behind it. When A vent to me abt her problem with C she was mad about her not being honest with her about something and keeping things from her while a HERSELF has been actively hiding and keeping things from me for years while still involving me emotionally whenever it suited her. I've always had that role of helping others and being someone my friends can rely on when they want to vent or find a solution to a problem and i love helping them, but now i just feel like ive been lied to this whole time.

I hate how close he is to my friends and when i tell him about it he shuts it off by saying they have classes together and that i cant tell him who he can be friends with however he had no problem in telling me that when it was his friends.

Right now i just feel completely blindsided and excluded and i hate that i was the only person left out while also being used as emotional support and advice whenever everyone else needed it.

I dont know if i should confront them, just let it go or if im being crazy about it but i cant shake the feeling that i've been treated unfairly this whole time. I dont even want to see them tomorrow.

EDIT: Ive seem multiple comments asking if this was a repeated pattern of my twin dating my friends but i want to make clear that he has never dated anyone before this (at least seriously) maybe a few situation ships but nothing serious and never inside my friend group. So this was his first ‘serious’ relationship. Also for the people questioning how come i didnt see it going on or i shouldve seen signs well my brother is someone who’s naturally close with girls not in a player kind of way but more in a friendly way, he’s never flirty with them or anything just purely casual which is why even if me, A, B, C and my brother hung out together before, there werent any flirty looks or comments, just a friendly hang out. We also live in a pretty ‘conservative household’ in a sense that we dont bring gfs/bfs home and are expected to wait until marriage, but i guess that’s another topic.
What i think may have happened is since they all hang out tgt during the day because of classes, something may have happened then and continued from that point on. But again, i feel like i dont even know anything anymore.

One more thing, for the comments saying to go back to being close with his friend group i think i may give it a shot as i truly dgaf anymore, he didnt respect my boundaries i dont feel the need to respect his. I also learned that one of his friends did in fact develop feelings for me which could be one of the reasons why he asked me to backoff, which just pisses me off even more bcs of his hypocrisy.

I will make an update for anyone interested once i get the chance to talk to them or make a plan about how to go about things from now on.

Thank you for everyone who commented i really appreciate everyone’s support and advice <3