Help me understand how God works
Life-long and mostly TBM.
I’ve read the conference talks. I’ve read the scriptures so many times. I know God is aware of me and knows me. But I’m struggling.
I’d genuinely like to understand how to reconcile why God answers some prayers and not others. Why he intervenes in some situations. I’d like to know how other members feel and what they believe. Please don’t share more quotes and scriptures. I know them. The solace is waning. Testimonies of people who have battled in the trenches is what I need.
The current situation that has my husband in a very dark place and me struggling - we’re watching thousands of acres of crops die. The financial strain is bad. But worse is the pain we feel with each day that the plants are set back by drought. Irreparable damage is occurring daily. (this after 15% of our acres are already lost to freezes. Also have Seeds sitting in dry dirt) The actual growing and once healthy plants are all we have left. Its hard. Literally thousands of hours of work, effort, blood, sweat and tears burning up. Rain is our only hope.
We pray. We ask for help. We believe God can open the heavens. This whole region has actually taken to group efforts of fasting and prayer. Then we watch storms move into the region. Some are blessed with .5 to 1.75 inches of water - others, not too far away, have received zero.
The question is - why? Why does God show his providence and power to some in need, but leave countless families like mine in peril? It’s been very painful this weekend to see the rain so close.
I’m literally in bed tonight holding on to testimony. Telling myself - He’s not going to fix my problems, but he’ll help me through them. I believe that. I just don’t understand a god who oversees tremendous blessings and suffering of the same “Saints” simultaneously. TIA