u/Fresh-Rise4979

I’ve been with my boyfriend for around 10 months now and the same issue keeps coming up consideration.
It honestly makes me uncomfortable having to consistently ask someone to consider me. The first few times, okay, we’re learning each other. But when the same issue keeps resurfacing, it starts to feel too close to begging and that’s a horrible feeling. From my perspective, I’ve been patient and very understanding because this is his first relationship. Whenever I have concerns, I communicate them calmly and openly. The problem is when I bring things up, he tends to immediately defend himself instead of first listening to where I’m coming from emotionally. The conversation then turns into explanations, facts, logic, or him bringing up things I’ve done too things he’s never previously expressed as issues until I’m expressing hurt. I still try to hear his side because I understand we’re two different people having two different emotional reactions. But over time I’ve started feeling emotionally overlooked and exhausted, like I’m constantly having to explain what consideration looks like for me. The thing is, aside from this he’s genuinely a good person. But I need emotional attunement. I need someone who not only hears my needs in the moment, but actually carries them forward through actions and consistency. At this point I feel emotionally drained and honestly a bit hopeless. It feels like we speak two completely different emotional languages.
Can dynamics like this genuinely work long term? Or is this usually a sign of incompatibility?