Overwhelmed/ Feeling Guilty
I won't keep this up long bc it's so specific.
A few weeks ago I had surgery. I went back to work a week before I was supposed to. So I have just been really sleepy. Healing well, just getting wiped out SUPER fast which is not like me. I work 5 12s so my job is already pretty tiring without this post surgery fog.
My NK threw up Monday while I was caring for him. Today he started having a sore throat and low grade fever. I finally got him down for a nap and then I started throwing up.
They have figured out the first half of the day tomorrow and said to let them know if I'm not feeling better tomorrow for the second half of my shift. I'm exhausted and now sick and just bleh.
In my 5 years here I have never called off. I literally went into work hours before needing emergency surgery (I didn't realize I was as bad off as I was). This is something I obviously struggle with, not prioritizing my health. I just feel like an ass, unreliable, all the things if I say I can't come in. Like major guilt and anxiety kick in. I've been in this field for 14 years and this is my first time dealing with this intense feeling about calling out. I have never worked for two NPs with extremely demanding jobs. Their jobs just add to my anxiety about calling out which is all coming from me, not my bosses.
My bosses are wonderful, the kindest people. I know this can get lost in this post but I really don't want any negative comments about them, please.