Who am i really?
Do you ever feel alone with yourself? I don’t mean when you’re by yourself, but as if you had two versions of yourself and yet you feel alone because they don’t seem to live in the same world. And again, i don’t mean it in a multiverse kind of thing, but in a within yourself kind of thing.
I often feel like i am two people. One is almost the complete opposite of the other. At the same time, i don’t feel like i’m either, or, when i’m one, i can’t comprehend how i could have been the other at some point. One is driven, she tries, she speaks up, she goes out, she smiles and she even laughs. She tries to make up for what the other isn’t able to do, tries to do as much as possible in that short time that she is out so that at least it compensates for the others lack of progress. The other is quiet, unmotivated, afraid of speaking their mind and has a hard time even forcing a smile. Both feel sad. Both don’t feel like the life they’re living is theirs. Deep down both know that they aren’t two, but that one can only hold up for so long before the other needs to come out, to cry, to make time to think about how she feels because the other ignored it for too long, laughed way too hard at stuff she doesn’t even know if she really finds funny or not. Both are lost. I am lost, because i’m both, but i don’t know who i am.