Please help what do i do
I'm a teenager and I've been having a lot of problems with my mom lately. I feel like she never actually listens to me and always assumes she knows what's best for me.
She constantly tries to push me out of my comfort zone even when I've repeatedly told her that certain things make me uncomfortable. If she likes something, she seems to think I should like it too. She also throws away my belongings without asking me first, which has caused a lot of arguments.
I have severe anemia, so I'm tired a lot of the time. I spend a lot of time in my room on my laptop, and I know that's probably not great, but my mom acts like I should be able to change overnight. She gets frustrated with me for it and doesn't seem to understand how exhausted I feel.
Earlier she sent me an old photo of me from when I was around 7 years old, smiling, along with a voice message saying something like, "See how happy you were before? Now you're always in your room on your laptop. It feels like you've been in there for two years."
Like what was the point of saying that? To make me feel worse than I already am..?
I was so mad that i used my desk scissors and scratched my arm, nothing big but now its bleeding and the skin is a bit ripped and it stings. Its what i do when im mad, hurt myself.
Now like 10 minutes ago she came into my room to talk. I asked her what the point of the voice message was because it just hurt my feelings. While I was trying to explain why I was upset, she laughed. That really bothered me because I felt like I was being serious and vulnerable. I ended up telling her that that was why i was like this.. And thats one of the reasons why im always sad and barely smile, in front of her at least.
After that, her attitude changed completely. She just told me to come downstairs and eat and then left.
The thing is, I don't think she's a horrible mother. Sometimes she's very nice, and compared to some parents, she's not very strict. That's why I'm confused. I can't tell if this is genuinely unhealthy behavior or if I'm just being dramatic because I'm emotional.
Do my feelings make sense here? And how can i stop hurting myself when im mad..? I mean, if i had the courage to i would definitely end me.