F19; A guy told me I’m childish because I laugh/giggle a lot. Should I change this about myself?
I recently talked on the phone with a guy I met online (he’s 21), and he was very quiet during the call. There were often long periods of silence, and honestly, the silence started feeling kind of awkward to me, so I would sometimes giggle or laugh a little because I found the situation awkward. At one point he asked me why I was laughing, and I told him there wasn’t really a reason. I just tend to laugh a lot.
The conversation was actually pretty deep and serious at times. But sometimes he would try to say these tough or deep quotes, and I would giggle a little because I found it kind of funny. I wasn’t laughing loudly or making fun of him. It was literally just a little laugh or giggle.
But he got really annoyed by it. He told me that my laughing and giggling were very annoying and that I wasn’t acting my age and was being childish. He made it seem like I was constantly laughing and couldn’t take anything seriously, which honestly wasn’t the case at all. I was serious and listening for most of the conversation.
This was actually the first time someone has told me that I’m childish because of the way I laugh, and it made me wonder if I should try to stop doing it.
The thing is, I’m naturally a pretty shy and quiet person. I’m also socially awkward and tend to overthink a lot. When I meet someone new, especially a guy, it takes me a while to become comfortable and stop being shy. I often overthink the way I talk because I’m scared that I might sound weird, so I tend to hold back and let the other person talk. I’m more of a listener than someone who constantly talks.
With my female friends, I’ve never really had this problem. The silence never feels awkward because they usually have lots of stories to tell and things to talk about. But when I’m talking to guys, I often feel like there’s so much silence, and it makes me uncomfortable. I think that’s partly why I laugh or giggle sometimes, just to break the awkwardness.
So now I’m wondering: Do I need to work on myself and become less shy and quiet, or do I just need to find someone whose personality is more compatible with mine?
I know I laugh a lot, and that’s just part of my personality. But I also don’t want to use that as an excuse if there really is something I should work on.
I guess I’m wondering if other shy or quiet people have experienced something similar, especially when talking to guys. Do you think two quiet people can work well together, or is it better for a quiet person to have a partner who naturally talks a lot?